New Life
by levi-blessing
Summary: Charlie is gone. Bella is ready to start eternity with her mate by her side after graduating from college. What could possibly go wrong for her as she steps into life as a Newborn? AU B/J, E/OC, Em/R, C/Es, A/OC - Rated M for later chapters
1. Packing

**AN: I decided to try my hand at some Jasper/Bella fun, I hope you enjoy reading it for I know I'll enjoy writing it.  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor any of the characters. Although RL might be more fun with a certain Southern Major around. =]<br>**

"Bella?" I heard the familiar, melodic voice float up to me where I laid on my bed, I had intended to take a nap but my brain had been unable to shut off.

"Come on up Edward." I said aloud, sighing and pushing myself into a sitting position, crossing my legs in front of me, my fingers automatically beginning to fiddle with the deep purple threads of my comforter. A soft, musical laugh came from the doorway.

"You'll wear holes in that thing if you keep doing that." Edward added before coming full into the room and taking his usual seat in the rocking chair opposite my bed. I noticed his movements in my peripheral vision but didn't look up from my hands.

"No I won't." I said, a hint of sadness colouring my voice.

"What's wrong?" Was all the bronze haired boy asked me, and I could feel his concerned gaze hitting the top of my head. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"It's nothing really. I just miss him."

"Who?" Gentle prompting, that was always Edwards way, he wanted to know what I was thinking but never pushed too hard, for which I was grateful.

"Charlie. And Jasper."

"Jasper will be home in an hour."

"I know. But Charlie won't."

"No, he won't." Edward side, moving from his seat to sit beside me on my bed as my fingers continued tormenting the purple fabric under them. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yeah. I know it's what I want, it's just harder than I thought it would be."

"Alright. Emmett and Alice will take this last load and you and I will start on this room, okay?"

"Okay." I needed a distraction, today had been difficult enough. This would help. I rose off the bed and Edward followed, only leaving the room for a moment before returning with an armful of boxes.

"So, where do you want to start?"

"You can do my books, I'll sort out my desk." I decided taking one of the boxes from his arms as he nodded and knelt down in front of my plain pine desk, pushing the chair out the way so I could start with the drawers. Edward settled into his task as well. The silence which fell between us was comfortable, easy. It had taken us a long time to get to this point.

I pulled open the bottom drawer and stared at the mess of contents inside it. I smirked and started pulling the items out one by one. As I pulled out a box of photographs I couldn't help but stop and open it. There were many from my life in Phoenix, friends whose names had faded from my memories, none of my friends had lasted that long, in truth I'd always pushed them away, knowing I didn't really fit in. There were photos of my mom, she was smiling, happy, the very essence of life; it made me choke up a little to remember. Then there were moments I'd shared with Charlie, he looked gruff, annoyed by the cameras presence, but there was something in his eyes, the way he looked passed the lens to me, his love for me was there, shining, forever caught on film. A few silent tears escaped my eyes as I moved to the next group of photos. These were of the Cullens, group tableaus and individual ones I'd managed to catch, none of them were truly candid, it was tricky to not alert a group of vampires to your presence after all, but they hadn't posed for me which I appreciated. Next came snapshots of me and Edward, I'd been eighteen when most of them were taken, we looked happy. One in particular though made me stop.

"Edward." I called out and in an instant he was beside me. "Remember this?"

"Of course. It was a wonderful day." He smiled softly. The photo had been taken one day when we'd been on a family picnic with the rest of the Cullens, someone had managed to get a picture of the two of us laughing, I was in profile, looking at something straight ahead while Edward was looking at me, his eyes focused on me shimmering with emotion, love, affection, protectiveness, it was all there.

"It wasn't enough." He whispered after a moment, as if he actually could read my thoughts.

"It's always been more than enough, I just wasn't what you needed. It's alright though, things worked out didn't they?" I smiled softly, turning my face to look at him. He nodded.

"They did. I still love you."

"I love you too. Brother." He chuckled, nodding in understanding before moving back to my bookcase. I moved to the next section of photos. These were the most recent, and were predominantly of Jasper and myself. I was older now, four years older. I'd grown up, matured, not just emotionally but physically too, I wasn't the naive little girl anymore. I knew what I wanted, I was happy within myself, independent, in love with the blonde god beside me in the images. One of the pictures caught my eye, it was of me, only a month ago, I was sat in the Cullens living room with Jasper, he was completely relaxed, slouching a little, his arm slung across the back of the couch while I was sat on the edge, straighter, laughter colouring my face as my arms were raised, obviously gesticulating. Our gazes were focused on one another, both smiling, happy, content to be together. Jaspers eyes were burning with love, lust, passion and laughter as he watched me, and everything about me screamed of my feelings for him. I knew without a doubt who had taken it. Alice. I was glad she had, it was a wonderful moment, I'd have to thank her later.

"She says she knew you'd like it." Edward laughed from behind me. I just smiled softly, closing the box and putting it into the packing box with the other things. Once I got going it only took forty minutes of me to pack up my desk to my standards. Everything had its place, had to be in the right section to make unpacking easier. Once I sealed the box I shifted in my spot slightly and sighed.

"Back aching Sugar?" I would recognise that delicious southern drawl anywhere as I spun my head to look at the doorway, sure enough there he stood in all of his vampiric glory. Golden eyes shining, blonde waves falling into his face slightly, muscular arms folded across his chest which was covered by a...

"No way, you are not coming in here wearing their t-shirt!" I laughed, standing up and walking over to him, keeping a fracture of space between our bodies. "Never! Get out! Go change, and burn that shirt!" I placed my hand on the shoulder that wasn't against the wall and applied a little pressure, he of course humoured me by taking a slight step back as if I had actually been able to move him. He pouted at me, to which I rolled my eyes. "Not gonna work Whitlock." I sing songed, turning my back on him to head back into my room but he caught me around the waist and pulled me back against his solid chest. "Ew! It's touching me!" I shouted, squirming in his grasp making him chuckle.

"Don't I even get a kiss before you send me away Sugar?" He whispered against my neck, my squirming stopped and I sighed, turning my head to look at him with an arched eyebrow.

"Fine." I said, as if kissing him was the biggest hardship in the world. "But stop feeding me joy, alright?"

"Is it wrong of me to want you to be happy?" He asked seriously.

"No, but I need to feel this stuff, I'm saying goodbye and I want to feel it."

"Anything for you Darlin'." He purred slightly and I felt the wave of happiness that had flowed through the room die down, leaving me with residual joy at his presence, but also the sadness goodbyes like this always cause.

"Thank you." I whispered before turning in his grasp to kiss his lips gently. I didn't linger long, knowing how little it took for us to get distracted and carried away. "Now go change. And I was serious about burning that thing!" I smirked at him as he released me and I stepped away.

"The things I do for you Isabella." He sighed but left my doorway anyway.

"I don't understand why you hate 'The Bloodhound Gang' so much." Edward said as he moved yet another full box to the growing pile in the middle of my room.

"You didn't listen to Emmett's rendition of 'Bad Touch', I still have nightmares about it, I don't need any reminders." I shuddered, fighting back the memories of that night.

"I feel lucky." He snickered. I nodded and slumped onto my bed, the bookcase was empty, as were all my walls, Edward having stowed those possessions away. My desk was bare, except for the ancient computer on it which I didn't need any more, my new laptop was sat in its box in the Volvo, just waiting to be set up. The only things left to pack were the things off my bedside table and my stuff from the bathroom, Alice having already sorted through my clothes and thrown most of them away, insisting I start 'dressing like a Cullen'.

"You finish up in here alright, I'll go sort out the bathroom." Edward smiled, picking up a small box and packing materials as I grabbed an oversized tote bag and making my way through to the bathroom. I gathered my shampoo and conditioner along with my toothbrush and toothpaste; I emptied all of my other essentials form the cupboard and put them all in the bag as well. As I finished I spied Charlie's aftershave on the shelf and smiled sadly. I picked it up and opened it, taking a deep breath of the smell before closing it and sliding it into the bag alongside my other belongings. I closed the door behind me as I left the bathroom and returned to my room, it was now completely empty, all the boxes were gone and my bed had been stripped. I sighed, closing the door and walking away from it, down the stairs. I made sure all of the doors were closed after checking each room one last time as I said my goodbyes to the house, and the life I had lived here. But more importantly I said goodbye to my father, a year he'd been gone.

A year I had grieved, finding moments of happiness but always feeling his loss. Now I had to move on, remember him in my heart, but live my life the only way I could. One week from today, I would die. And my new life would begin.


	2. Coming Home

**AN: Wow! I was blown away by the response to this, so many of you have put this story on alert or favourite it. As for the reviewers, ****LyssiLuvr****, I know it seems a little sad, but this story is going to be filled with it, it's hopefully going to be a lot of happiness. And, ****LittleRin26****, you'll find out soon what's happened to bring them all to where they are now, but you'll have to wait a little bit longer I'm afraid. **

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Twilight, nor any of the characters. Although RL might be more fun with a certain Southern Major around. =]**

I closed the front door behind me, saying a last goodbye to my childhood home, before I turned around and smiled at the sight in front of me. My own, personal knight in black leather, in front of his shining steed. He held his arms open to me and I walked slowly into them, feeling better with every step, knowing that I had made the right decision. As soon as I reached him I wound my fingers into his hair, pulling his cold lips to mine, feeling the flames of lust burn through me, and knowing not all of them were my own. His steel arms wrapped around me, pressing me ever tighter against him as our tongues battled each other. I felt safe, at home in his arms. I was ready.

As we parted I smirked at him, making sure the bag I was carrying was secure on my shoulder before I slid onto the bike. Jasper rolled his eyes but sat behind me, reaching around me in order to grip the handle bars. Then we were off, the feel of the bike below me, and Jasper all around me was amazing, adrenaline coursed through my veins as we sped through the greenery of Forks towards the Cullen house, _our_ house. It didn't take long for us to arrive, and thankfully there was no fanfare when we did. Jasper hopped off the bike gracefully before swooping down and lifting me from the bike, and walking into the house. I was grateful someone – Alice – had the foresight to leave the front door open for us.

Without a word to anyone Jasper carried me upstairs to his – _our_ – room. All of my boxes were piled up in the middle of the floor, waiting for me to unpack them. I glanced around the room and smiled as Jasper set me on my feet, closing the door behind us with a gentle thud. Esme had been working overtime for the past few days, she'd completely overhauled the room that was once Jasper's study and made it fit both myself and him within the decor and the storage around. There were so many bookshelves lining the walls it felt like I was moving into a library, and that thought made me smile. Of course, a lot of the shelves were taken up with Jasper's personal collection, but there was a whole wall left for me to fill, and fill it I would. Even if it took me a few years.

"Welcome home." Jasper whispered from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me firmly against his chest while he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"That sounds perfect Jazz." I smiled, leaning my head against his. It had taken a lot of work for us to be here, a lot of pain and fighting, a lot of tears (on my part) and a truck load of uncertainty, but here we were, finally. "Come on lover boy, let's get unpacking." I said with a grin, pulling myself from his grasp and spinning to face him, he was arching an eyebrow at me.

"Do you actually want me to help? Or do you want to put everything _exactly_ where you want it without feeling the need to redo it all after I've finished?" I bit my bottom lip for a moment, knowing he was right, I liked everything to been in its place, at least in the beginning.

"You can do the books, you know the system." He sighed and nodded before giving me a quick peck on the cheek and sidling over to the boxes marked books, with ease he moved them in front of the bookcase and started unpacking, I appreciated the fact he was moving at a humans pace and I know he felt it radiate from me, along with my love for him as I moved towards my own boxes. There were two desks in the room, one which was obviously Jaspers, had papers piled on it surrounding his computer while mine stood empty. I pulled out the bottom drawer and started packing everything away.

It took about two hours for me to finish putting all of my trinkets and pieces around the room where I thought they belonged, of course I checked with Jasper about most of the things which weren't on my desk, but after the tenth time he'd just laughed at me and told me to put them anywhere I wanted. There was only one thing left to put away, the box of photographs I'd found in my desk, I was still deciding what to do with them, though I had considered making a collage. When I mentioned it to Jasper he smiled and said he thought it was a good idea, but could it wait until tomorrow? I'd agreed, I'd had enough of the packing and unpacking for the day, I just wanted to relax.

We meandered downstairs, much to my disappointment, though it had been my stomach which had caused the descent as it growled incessantly. Emmett, Edward, Alice and Rose were playing a game on the TV in the living room and it looked as if Alice was winning. That thought was cemented seconds later as she dropped the controller and leapt up singing, "I win, you lose! I win, I win, you lose!" to the other three who all in turn threw down their controllers and tackled the pixie. I laughed on my way into the kitchen and found Esme there, cooking.

"Really, Esme, I can do that." I tried.

"Hush. I enjoy it, you know that. And besides I won't be able to do this for you for much longer, so button up and deal with it." She waved me away making me roll my eyes at Jasper a little before I moved to the fridge to grab a soda. I closed the door and leant against it, watching Esme potter around the kitchen tending to the pans on the stove and the salad on the side, it was nice not having to do it for myself, and Esme's cooking always tasted amazing. Emmett appeared in the kitchen door, grinning from ear to ear.

"We killed Alice." He announced to Esme who merely hummed before adding a 'that's nice dear'. Emmett's shoulders slumped a little but he quickly regained his grin as he looked at me. "You all settled in Bells?"

"Yes Emmett."

"Great, 'cause I know I'm not the only one looking forward to reaping the benefits of you living here." He snickered, after a second there was a resounding smack followed by Emmett whining, "Rosie!"

"Leave them alone Em." Was all Rosalie said before leaving the four of us in the kitchen once more.

"I was just saying..." Emmett trailed off looking a little crest fallen, I couldn't help but feel a little bad for him.

"Here you go Bella." Esme said, placing a serving of Chicken Alfredo on the breakfast bar next to a bowl of salad. It smelled delicious.

"Thanks Esme." I grinned, taking a seat in front of the food. "Jazz, go play with the others, I'll come through when I'm done." I knew he hated the smell of my food, except for my morning coffee, which I found a little weird, but hey, everyone has their quirks, right? I took a huge mouthful of food as Jasper sloped off and I couldn't help the sounds I made. "Esme, this is amazing!" I moaned smiling at the brunette in front of me. She simply smiled and turned to start doing the dishes. What I didn't expect were the levels of lust filtering through the house, increasing with every mouthful of food I took. I knew it wasn't me so that left... "Jasper! Cool it!"

"Sorry Sugar, can't help it when you make sounds like that." He called through from the living room, making me chuckle a little. I ate quickly after that, trying to repress the sounds I'd been making. I put my dishes in the dishwasher and gave Esme a kiss on the cheek as I passed through into the living room.

"Hey, guys." I smiled, taking my seat besides Jasper who pulled me onto his lap, kissing my neck lightly. "I had an idea earlier. I was thinking of making a big memory board, you know to remind me afterwards, and I thought it might be nice if you all kind of contributed something to it. What do you think?" I asked, looking around at the vampires I considered siblings, studiously appearing to ignore the assault Jasper was conducting on my neck from behind me.

"I think that's a great idea Bella. I'll find something." Edward smiled, I was so grateful he'd learnt to accept my decision to be changed. Much like Rosalie had, though she still had a few reservations.

"Hells yeah Bells! I'll donate my green Speedo!" Emmett cheered making me cringe.

"Thanks for the offer Em, but maybe something like those tickets for the football we went to?" I offered as an alternative.

"Sure, whatever." He shrugged cheerfully.

"I know just the thing Bella." Rose smiled from her seat beside her mate. I grinned at her and knew what she was thinking of. Over the past couple of years we'd grown incredibly close, I now spent as much time with her as I did with Alice.

"Alice says she's already picked her donation Sugar." Jasper breathed across my neck making me shiver.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it." I smiled softly at the family around me, leaning back against Jasper, twisting my head to kiss his lips gently before catching his gaze. "And you..." He just smirked at the warning in my voice.

"You couldn't Darlin'." He purred at me.

"Is that a challenge Mr Whitlock?" I asked with a serious tone, but my playfulness must have been a give away to the blonde vampire under me.

"Why, yes ma'am, I think it just might be." He drawled making my legs turn to jelly.

"I'll remember that." I smirked as Emmett pouted, mumbling something to quiet for me to hear which made Rose growl at him. After that we all settled into watching a movie, I couldn't tell you what the movie was though, I was distracted by my plans to make Jasper regret the challenge he had thrown at my feet, and regret it he would.

A couple of hours later Jasper and I retired to our room for the night. I ignored him as he closed the door and went to the dresser to select some pyjamas. I walked into the bathroom, leaving my selected choice of nightwear lying on the bed while I brushed my teeth and stripped down to my underwear in the bathroom. If there was one thing I knew about my vampire it was how to push his buttons. Lingerie was fine, but I knew he preferred it when something was left to the imagination. So I walked out of the bathroom in my plain black t-shirt bra and matching boy shorts before pulling on one of his t-shirts, it reached the middle of my thighs when I was standing, and sure it was a little baggy but it didn't drown me. The one I'd chosen also had the slogan, 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy' scrawled across the front, Rose had gotten it for him about a year ago and I knew he liked seeing me in it.

As I got ready Jasper had stripped to his boxers and climbed onto the bed. His eyes watching me move around the room, even though I paid him no attention. I slid into the chair in front of my desk, though I sat sideways, my legs crossed in the direction of the blonde god on my bed, as I turned on the computer and checked my emails. My foot drew circles in the air as I read through Jacobs's latest email, informing me of his life in California with Vanessa, his imprint. I had been so happy for him when he found her, she was perfect for him, and she called him out on his bullshit and put up with his temper and childishness. I typed back a response, letting him know that I'd moved out of Charlie's officially now, as well as a reminder I'd be out of touch for a while, but he knew who to call if he wanted to know how I was. After I was done I closed my laptop and moved over to the bed. Climbing under the covers beside Jasper.

"I love you Jazz." I said softly, quickly pecking his lips.

"I love you too, Darlin'." He smiled back, though it dimmed slightly as I turned off the light and settled in to sleep, my back to him. I fell asleep with a smile on my lips at the sound of his frustrated growl, I hadn't missed his 'little' problem as I'd moved around the room, in fact it had been very hard to ignore.

"It won't last." He had purred just before dreams claimed me.


	3. Preparations

**AN: Here's the next chapter. I warn you now, there be a Lemon ahead, so proceed with caution if they're not your bag. Hope you all enjoy.  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, though I do wish I had my own Cowboy, I love saving horses. =P <strong>

I awoke the next morning to a wonderful sight, Jasper, fresh from the shower, towelling his hair off as he stood naked by the bed looking at the closet, trying to decide what to wear for the day. I bit back a groan as I realised we were still in the midst of a bet, neither of us had placed a wager, but I knew he'd have bragging rights for eternity if I caved first, so with a fierce determination I rolled out of bed, my feet instinctively pulling back from the cold wooden floor for a moment, though the contact always managed to wake me up, ever since my first morning in this room.

I stood up, sashaying passed Jasper, trailing my fingers over his lower back and around his side as I did so, earning myself a playful growl before I vanished into the bathroom for a much needed shower. I stripped off as I waited for the water to warm up and considered my plan for the week to come. It seemed odd that I could be so calculating about my final week as a human, but I knew there were things that I needed to do to ensure the memories I wanted to save returned to me in those first few days as a newborn vampire.

I stepped under the spray and sighed, the warm water danced across my skin, relieving the tension sleeping in one position always seemed to bring. My muscles loosened and my hair washed, I felt ready to start the day. I stepped out of the shower after turning off the water and towelled off quickly, I pulled on Jaspers t-shirt, knowing full well he'd soon realise I was wearing nothing underneath. I stepped back into our room making my way to the dresser where I selected a matching bra and boy short set, black with small multicoloured hearts scattered across them, and then I searched for a pair of jeans.

Finally I settled on some black skinny ones, I tossed them on the bed beside my underwear. Finally I raided Jaspers t-shirt drawer once more, finding an overly large _Metallica_ t-shirt; that too landed on the bed. Throughout my rummaging Jasper had appeared to remain transfixed by the book he was reading in the armchair in the corner of our room, I would have believed him too except for the small growls I could hear coming from him. I moved to my desk, turning on my laptop and returning to my clothes while I waited for it to boot up.

In a swift movement the shirt was over my head and discarded on top of the pillows. I dressed slowly, but not overly so. Wouldn't want him to think I was doing it to torment him now, would I? When I was dressed I shoved my hair up in a messy bun, letting strands fall around my face as I wandered back to my computer, I sat down on my chair and loaded my To Do list. I crossed off a number of things like move my things from Charlie's, unpack at the Cullens and try Chicken Alfredo, but there were still so many things left to do. I looked through them all and sighed, it seemed so clinical, bringing my life down to a list, but it's how I dealt with stuff. Order.

I rose from my seat and turned to Jasper, he set his book aside and stood up, taking my hand and leading me down to the kitchen where my morning nectar was waiting. I sighed happily as Esme handed me a steaming cup of black coffee, I breathed in the smell before taking a much needed gulp, I could almost feel the caffeine run through my blood. With a smile I turned to Jasper, leaning up on my toes to kiss him gently, "Morning Cowboy."

"Morning Sugar." He whispered back, rubbing his nose lightly against mine for a moment.

"You guys are so weird!" Emmett stated from his seat at the breakfast bar. "You don't say anything to each other 'til she gets a cup of coffee."

"Shut up Emmett." I sighed, turning to face my big brother. "I can't help it if I'm not a morning person." I slid into my usual seat at the breakfast bar and tucked into the bacon and eggs Esme had made for me. "Thanks Esme." I called out, knowing wherever she was in the house she'd hear me, as I finished my breakfast and loaded my plate into the dishwasher, I happily returned to my cup of coffee.

"You going hunting today?" I asked the two vampires in the room. Emmett nodded and Jasper ghosted up behind me.

"Sure am Sugar, need to keep my strength up for when you give in." He purred in my ear before he nipped it gently, causing a wave of lust to roll through me. He chuckled darkly.

"Fuck you Whitlock." I growled as effectively as I was able, making him laugh once more.

"Anytime you want Darlin'." He chortled. "I'll see you this afternoon." He said in a much more serious voice and I felt his love surround me. I nodded silently as he and Emmett left the room, the back door closing quietly behind them.

The morning passed quickly, I was sorting through the reams of photographs I had accumulated over my life, selecting the ones I felt would trigger the memories I desperately wanted to retain after my change. Alice had taken it upon herself to purchase the base of, what she lovingly dubbed, the 'This is your life' board, and I for one was grateful for her offer.

I had finally settled on the photos of Renee and Charlie I wanted, along with the ones of Jake and the Cullen family on the whole, all that was left were the two most difficult people. Edward. I had so many memories of him, and not all of them pleasant, yet he was a vital step in making me the person I was today. And then there's Jasper. No single picture could summarise the relationship we had, the bond between us, I could fill board upon board with memories I wanted to cherish of him. I groaned in frustration as I tried to pinpoint those moments that would be easily forgotten, but that meant so much to me. I knew I was keeping all the photos in the box regardless but this board was me summarising my life, picking out what was truly important and understanding how I fit together, knowing myself better, knowing how everyone I loved played a part in moulding me was essential to me. I needed to know I'd be able to find me again after I changed. I needed that security.

Just after I had finished my lunch of a sandwich and sliced fruit Jasper and Emmett returned from their hunt. They were both wearing stupid grins on their faces and I couldn't help but giggle. "Looks like you don't need me after all Jazz." I laughed, loving the way my words made his eyes darken, and his smile change to a smirk.

"Oh, Isabella. You have no idea." He growled, lifting me from my seat and running us up the stairs. I squealed as he threw me on our bed, I bounced a couple of times from the force, but settled quickly enough.

"Well, well, Major, it's been a while." I smirked at the blonde vampire at the foot of the bed in front of me. His eyes were black, his muscles bunched and he was looking at me as if all he wanted was to devour me. The very thought made my stomach tighten and curl in pleasure. I did not fear Jasper Whitlock, in any form. Not when he was my playful best friend, not when he was thirsty, not when he fucked me, not when he made love to me, and most certainly not when he was predatory like in this moment, in fact I loved the Major. Adrenaline surged through my body as I stared at him, my thighs rubbing together unconsciously, I was desperate for friction, but I was not going to give in first. I was breathing hard, I knew this. I was radiating lust and determination. I knew this too. What I didn't know was what he was going to do.

"I want you Isabella." He growled.

"I know." I said as calmly as possible, but really how calm can you be when faced with a gorgeous man, whom you love ardently and who you know loves you the same way, and who you also know wants to claim you as their own.

"You want me too."

"That's no secret, but I'll survive."

"I will have you Isabella." He sneered, crawling over my body, I could feel his coolness ghosting over my skin, but he didn't touch me at all, he simply hovered over me, his eyes directly above mine. "I will have you. But not just now." He smirked before vanishing from the room.

"Fucker!" I shouted after him, hearing his laugh resonated from the living room. I was all kinds of frustrated now. I thought for a moment before smirking to myself. I walked out of our room towards Emmett and Rosalie's, I knocked on the door. She opened it immediately, grinning at me. "I need your help."

Half an hour later I left Rosalie, we hadn't spoken a word, knowing Jasper would hear us, though apparently someone's thoughts were highly amusing since Edward had come to join us, laughing randomly at odd moments. For the most part though I ignored him. Rose had worked her magic, and now I was more than happy with my plan. I wandered downstairs, my 'Fuck Me Boots' clicking on the wooden floor, they were black leather and reached my knee. Rose and I had turned Jaspers t-shirt into a form fitting dress with the simply addition of a belt, it hit just above my mid thigh, my hair had been lightly curled and I had applied smoky eye makeup. I sauntered past the living room, ignoring Emmett and Jasper for a moment while I grabbed a popsicle from the freezer, I walked back into the living room, settling myself on the couch opposite the boys, my right leg draped over the knee of my left as I sucked and licked the popsicle in my hand, my attention focused on the television which was showing the news. Emmett wolf whistled as he noticed me, nudging Jasper and wishing him luck before leaving and heading up to his mate.

"Bella!" Jasper groaned as his eyes drank me in.

"You started this Whitlock." I said serenely, still not looking at him, my focus split between the television and my popsicle. A bead of melted ice rolled down the side of my treat, I caught it just before it hit my hand and followed its path back up the side with my tongue. I could feel the lust permeating the room, making my stomach tighten a little.

"Well if I started it..." I just caught the words before I found myself back on our bed, looking up into the dark eyes of my southern gentleman, although I was pretty sure he would not be acting like a gentleman very soon.

"...I'm sure gonna fucking finish it." He growled at me as he wrenched the popsicle and flung it across the room, neither of us caring where it landed as Jasper attacked my mouth. Our tongues fought for dominance, but he soon won out as his hands trailed up my thighs, under my 'dress' to my hips, his fingers firmly massaging the skin there for a moment before they continued up my sides, pulling my clothes with them. Finally he had it over my head and off, breaking the kiss just long enough for him to divest himself of his own t-shirt and jeans. I tangled my fingers in his blonde waves but he quickly hand both of my wrists in one of his hands and had them pinned to the bed above my head. I groaned slightly at my inability to touch him, making him chuckle darkly as his free hand meandered down my neck, along my collarbone and across the swells of my breasts before he ripped my bra from my body, making me gasp into his mouth. Without removing his restraining hand his lips followed the path his hand had just taken until he reached one of my nipples. He teased it with his tongue making me writhe a little as my arousal started to coat the inside of my thighs as they rubbed together. Jasper moved his attention to my other breast as his free hand cupped me, his cold a shock against the heat flooding out of me.

"Darlin', is this all for me?" He murmured with a sly smirk. I couldn't speak so I simply nodded, shifting slightly against his icy hand, searching for the friction I desperately needed. "What do you want Sugar? Tell me and I'll make it happen." He drawled against my neck, keeping his hands perfectly still.

"Your hand. Fuck! Jasper please." I moaned in desperation, though it turned into one of pleasure as he ripped my boy shorts away and thrust two fingers deep into me, his thumb lightly tormenting my clit as he pumped in and out of me. I could feel all of my muscles tighten, I was like a spring ready to snap, and just as I hit the edge he stopped his ministrations, leaving his still fingers inside me.

"I need you Bella." He growled, "Do you want me to make love to you Darlin'?" I shook my head.

"I need you to fuck me cowboy." I managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"Anything you say Ma'am." He chuckled before quickly replacing his fingers with his rock hard cock. The feel of him filling me, stretching me sent me over the edge. I called out his name as he started thrusting into me, hard and fast, his pubic bone rubbing against my clit on every thrust into me, prolonging my orgasm and making me climb on my way to a second. My stomach tightened and my eyes clamped shut, unable to handle seeing his dark eyes gazing into mine. His lips found my neck and he sucked gently on the skin over my pulse point, that did it, for both of us. We came together, calling each other's names before he rolled off me and collapsed onto the bed beside me, pulling me into his side. Once I could manage it I giggled.

"You know it's no ego boost for your girl to laugh after you've just fucked her." Jasper drawled, arching an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry. I was just thinking that I should wear these boots more often." I smirked at him.

"We'd never leave the house Sugar."

"Fine by me." I purred, settling my head on his chest, one of my hands lazily tracing patterns over his stomach as I watched his muscles tense under his skin. He was perfect, scars and all, I couldn't see all of them, I knew that much, but they just proved how strong he was, to escape the life he'd had with Maria and become the man I knew today, there was no one stronger in my opinion. "But just for the record, I won that one." I spoke softly, with an offhand tone making him laugh.

"I think we're both winners in that situation Sugar." I shrugged before shimmying out of his embrace and moving to sit on the end of the bed, unzipping my boots and slipping them off my feet. "What're you doin' Darlin'?"

"I have stuff I need to get done today Jazz, as much as I'd love to stay right here with you all day, I really do need to finish off my photo selections and getting the stuff off everyone." I explained as I got to my feet, and wandered over to the dresser to get another set of underwear, I opted for a cute lilac set with small white daisies all over them. I also grabbed a pair of grey yoga pants and a black vest top, pulling them on before grabbing the tin of photos I'd been looking through earlier and heading out the door.

"Don't forget to tidy your mess up." I called over my shoulder as I meandered down the stairs.

As I entered the living room I was greeted by six happy vampires. "Don't say a word Emmett." I warned as I sat down, we were all gathered around a large cork board which was to be filled with the memories of my human life. Alice had painted it a deep purple color and in her delicate script had written 'Bella Swan...This is Your Life' in gold across the top. "Thanks Ali, this is awesome."

"It'll look even better when you've added everything." She grinned at me. "Speaking of. Here's my memory." She handed me six business cards, all with different guys names and numbers on them. I laughed as I saw them.

"Thanks Alice. That was a fun night." I grinned at my pixie of a sister.

"Here's mine." Emmett said excitedly handing me a piece of paper with the words to 'Bad Touch' written on it. I rolled my eyes but smiled, for as scarring as that night had been it had also been a much needed night of reconnection, or connection in some cases. I hugged my bear of a brother tightly, whispering a thank you.

"I thought you should have this." Rose handed me an empty condom box and I burst into fits of the giggles, as did she.

"At least it's not an eggplant." I managed to get out between giggles and she nodded, the others around the room looked confused but shrugged it off.

"I figured now would be as good a time as any to give you your CD back Bella." Edward said softly handing me a CD labelled 'Bella's Lullaby'. I almost teared up but it was a perfect representation of mine and Edward's past. I had no words for him.

"Here you are dear." Esme smiled softly handing me a note card, on which she'd written her recipe for lasagne.

"Thank you Esme, this really is great."

"It took long enough to perfect."

"But perfect it is." I grinned, hugging her tightly. That only left Carlisle and Jasper who had finally joined us, he'd slipped in behind me on the sofa and was watching silently.

"I thought a band aid would work in representing me Bella." Everyone laughed softly, though Jasper squeezed me a little. I pushed a wave of contentment towards him as best as I could, reminding him not to dwell too much on the past. I felt his gratefulness a moment later.

"It's fantastic Carlisle, thanks." I smiled at the gentle leader of the family. One left.

"I have nothing for ya Darlin'." Jasper whispered in my ear. "I'll just have to remind you of everythin' personally." I nodded, I knew this was hard for him, and in all honesty I hadn't expected him to contribute, after all he would be with me for the rest of eternity, he had plenty of time to help me remember things about us. He pressed a light kiss to my hair as we all set about arranging the items on the board, and finding other things to add to it. It was a nice time, filled with joking and reminiscing. My family were supporting me, and I finally felt like I belonged.

The rest of the week passed in much the same way, we all worked on the board, tweaking it, adding things, removing things. Esme made me all of my favourite dishes and Jasper and I spent the nights wrapped up in each other. It was a perfect week to say goodbye to humanity. I spent time with some of my human friends from college who I met in Seattle one night when Jasper took me out dancing, I had coffee with Angela and I went down to the reservation to say goodbye to the pack and Billy. Everything was done. Tomorrow was the day. And I couldn't be more excited for the rest of my forever to begin.


	4. Changing Perspectives

**AN: Ok, this chapter is a little bit shorter, but it's a necessary stepping stone, so please be a little more patient. I know some of you want to know the back story to this, but don't worry you will find it all out eventually, you'll just have to stick with me though. I know that I'm spoiling you with two updates in one day but I wrote the chapter and just had to post it. I want to get to the rest of the story as much as you guys. Anyway, enough of me, on with the chapter.  
>Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight, but I don't. But I'm off to ask Stephanie if I can borrow her Texan god, then I'm off to find a tree and a boulder. =P<strong>

We, Jasper and myself, had decided not to try and romanticise my change. He was not going to bite just after we'd made love, or anything like that, not only did I not want to associate sex with burning in my own personal hell for three days, I wasn't a hopeless romantic anymore either. Yes I loved Jasper, yes I wanted to be with him for eternity, but that didn't mean I had to be constantly girly and mushy about it. And in all honesty being able to be sarcastic and bitchy to him was fun, especially since he always gave as good as he got. This was why we had decided that we'd make it an intimate moment, it would not be filled with expectations well above what it deserved, the only thing I expected was for Jasper to stop before draining me dry, and to wake from my own burning three days later, able to call myself his forever. That was it.

So it boiled down to us spending an evening reading together in our room. Carlisle was in his study down the hall and the others were scattered around the house and garden, all waiting to step in if necessary. Soon I started getting tired so I set my book down, settling into Jaspers embrace, his cool chest pressing against my back as I leant my head back on his shoulder, looking up at him with a small smile.

"It's time Major." I whispered as he leant down to kiss me softly on the lips. It was a chaste kiss by our usual standards but it was filled with love and longing, I felt safe as his arms tightened around me a little, holding me in place as he pressed a soft kiss to the pulse point in my neck. His venom coated teeth tore my flesh like a hot knife through butter; I clenched my jaw to keep from crying out as fire started to spread through my veins, rushing around my body. I closed my eyes tightly, praying that it would be over soon.

The darkness descended over me sometime later, but the fire roared on. Part of me wished I could see the burning flames, just for something to distract me from the pain. I lost track of time, I tried counting seconds, the heartbeats, even sheep at one point but nothing helped and I decided to simply survive through what felt like an unsurvivable situation. I had been through too much in my life to give up now. Besides, even though I felt like there was no way the fire would ever stop, like I was going to spend eternity in pain, something in the back of mind told me it wasn't true, there was something that would make it go away. Something on the other side that I had to make it for. I clung to that idea. Easier said than done.

I didn't notice at first that the fire had left the tips of my fingers and toes, but as soon as I did I focused on them, they didn't hurt. Eventually the fire retreated a little more, leaving all of my fingers and toes pain free. But with every cell of my body that was freed from the pain another flame ignited in my heart. I don't know how long it took before everywhere except my heart was free of the fire. The flames had multiplied and concentrated, and I knew that I was surely about to die, my heart would explode. It was beating so rapidly that it was deafening, I wanted to scream to try and relieve some of the intense pain, but my jaw wouldn't comply. I wanted to tear my heart out just to stop it from bursting, but my limbs refused to move.

The silence was deafening. My heart had burnt out with one final beat and taken the fire with it. There was no pain anymore. There was nothing. I was nowhere. But then why was there something solid beneath me? Why could I feel soothing caresses on my palm? I frowned in thought for a moment before the memory surged back to me. Jasper! He'd bitten me. He'd changed me. I was a vampire now. I gasped in realisation and my eyes shot open.

I was inundated with information. The air was filled with smells, honey, lilies, bleach, wet grass, maple, chocolate and sawdust. I could taste the dust motes I'd inhaled as they settled on my tongue and in my lungs. My eyes had opened to an expanse of white but there were so many shades in that one color. And I knew that a ceiling should be smooth but it was full of cracks and dints, so small I shouldn't be able to see them but they were clear as crystal to me now. I could hear the breathing of six vampires in another part of the house, three of them were pacing. But there was one beside me, staying stock still, not breathing, not moving, just waiting. And the pull in my chest screamed at me that it was Jasper, that I had to be with him, see him. That thought spurred me into motion. In twelve hundredths of a second I had sat up to look at my glorious angel when just as quickly I found myself crouched defensively in the corner of the room furthest from him.

My mind absently noted that we weren't in mine and Jaspers room, but I didn't pay attention. I was focused on the vampire before me and warring within myself.

The scars. They screamed danger. They made my instincts tell me to run far away. But there was also a part of me telling me to get as close to him as I could, to devour him because he was mine. I took a moment, five hundredths of a second, to get a good look at the blonde vampire so I could decide what to do. He was shirtless, but was wearing faded light blue jeans which hung from his hips. He had blonde hair and golden eyes, though there were flecks of red and orange swirling in them. His stance was one of surrender, hands held up, palms facing me. His torso was covered in a layer of scars, they extended down his arms and there were a couple at his neck. I shivered at the thought of someone who could withstand that much. I took another breath and the blonde spoke. He still wasn't Jasper, my mind hadn't reconciled this dangerous being with the image in my murky human memories.

"Bella." There was a pleading note to his voice and I relaxed a little when he didn't approach me. "Sugar, it's just me. I ain't gonna hurt ya." His drawl was fascinating and sent a shiver of lust through me, as well as the recognition I needed. I was Bella. I was Jasper's Bella. I was _his_ Bella. In a moment I was in his arms, my mouth attacking his, needing to taste him. Needing to claim him. He was MINE!

"Yeah Darlin', I'm yours." He chuckled, I hadn't realised I'd said anything, but I purred happily as he confirmed my thoughts. "But before we get too carried away cowgirl, we need to get you fed, and then the family are desperate to meet you." He spoke firmly, and managed to push me away while holding me closer, it was a strange experience.

"I missed you Jazz." I whispered, my eyes fixed on his. My voice was so different, melodic, tinkling. It sounded strange and yet so right at the same time.

"I missed you too Sugar." He smiled, though he looked a little worried, I cocked my head to the side in silent question, but he just shook his head in answer before leading me out of the room and out of the house, keeping me away from the others I knew were there.

My first hunt went well. I discovered I loved running, and I was faster than Jasper. I preferred the taste of Grizzly to deer. And fucking against trees is mind blowing. I also learnt I would need to take a spare set of clothes next time because Jasper has no respect for a girls clothes, not that I had much respect for his either but...never mind.

Once we were home, showered and changed (Jasper had to help me because I kept ripping the material) Jasper led me downstairs to the waiting crowd. Recognition of all of them rushed at me at once, along with all the emotions they evoked, even though I didn't truly understand some of the jumbles. The onslaught caused Jasper to pause mid step for a moment as he tried to deal with what he was reading from me. I was hugged by each of them in turn, and felt an overwhelming amount of familial love settle across the room. However the happiness faltered when Esme went to hug my Jasper. I had growled lowly at her and moved in front of my mate before she reached him. She looked a little shocked, but understanding as Jasper chuckled and tugged my hand to pull me up beside him. "Calm down Darlin', Esme meant no harm."

"I know." I sighed as the flash of possessive anger subsided. "I'm sorry Esme. I didn't mean to...growl at you."

"It's fine dear. I forgot what it could be like having a newborn around, you seem so much more in control than Emmett or Rose were." Esme observed kindly.

"Control?" I almost laugh the word. "I feel all over the place, I can't focus. On anything. I keep oscillating between scared, elated, safe..." And horny. But I wasn't about to tell my 'mother' that, or the rest of my family.

"Yet here you stand Darlin', not hurtin' no one." Jasper breathes on my neck, and I can feel his pride and reassurance wash over me.

The sunrise finds all of us sat in the living room talking, trying to figure out what I can and can't remember about being a human. In all the time we talk Jasper never once loosens his iron grip around my waist, and a couple of times I'm glad for it as I try to lash out someone for something entirely too trivial, we both know he can't physically stop me at the moment but just the knowledge that to get to my target I'd have to hurt my Jasper makes me calm myself down. I would never hurt him. Oh, and there are six hundred and twenty seven bricks making up the fireplace, something else I have learnt today.

My mind is buzzing with so many things and it starts to make me irritable and angry. I start snapping at people for even daring to look at Jasper, and even a part of my brain can recognise how crazy that is, so with care Jasper eases me off his lap and takes me for my second hunt in as many days. Thank goodness vampires can't get fat if I keep eating like this.

Four deer and a round of boulder sex later, my mood has definitely improved.


	5. Family Matters

**AN: A little back story in this one, and some of my favourite characters are making their first appearance. In case you missed it, I did update twice yesterday, so if you only saw one chapter please go read the other, they're all important to the story. And I wanted to say thanks to all of the readers, reviewers, favourites and alerts. I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this story so far.  
>Disclaimer: owns all, but I want to be a Colonel so bad, especially with this Captain and Major.<strong>

"What the hell is _that_?" I asked Alice as she brought out a huge cork board. It had been two months since my change and while I remembered most things about Jasper now, and I just knew shit about the other members of our family I still couldn't really remember much about my human life. Thankfully after the first month my appetite for blood died down, and my temper became a lot more manageable, sure I'd still snap occasionally, but it was getting easier to deal with the likes of Emmett.

"This is your life!" Alice giggled as she spun the board around. I was confronted with a whole host of images and items which started sparking neurones in my brain, allowing old connections to re-fire. Even my million track vampire brain could keep up with the assault. Instead I closed my eyes and waited for the haze of information to pass. When I opened my eyes again Alice had only a couple of items from the board in her hands, the offending board itself was turned around against the wall.

"Was this your idea Alice?" I asked with a quizzical look.

"No. It was yours. You wanted to hold onto the human, so we helped. Here." She handed me three photographs of a young, brown haired girl and a man with a moustache, he was obviously her father, and if their body language didn't give it away then their eyes would.

I studied the images for a moment before connecting the dots. "She's me?"

"Yes Darlin'." Jasper confirmed from his seat behind me. His arms were around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder while I leant back against him as we sat on the floor. Occasionally his fingers would dip under my shirt and stroke the skin of my hip, as soon as he did my attention was solely focused on his touch. I was still easily distracted.

"So, that's my dad?" I felt him nod. I decided to start with the picture where the girl – where I – seemed to be oldest. I had bunches in my hair and was wearing horribly bright neon colours, pink shorts and a green t-shirt. The man – my dad – stood beside her holding a fish, it was a tiny thing, but they both looked so proud, me of myself and him of me.

"_Dad! Dad I did it, I caught one!" I squealed, jumping up and down waving my red net in the air as my dad set down his rod and made his way to inspect my first catch. I was ten and Charlie had taken me to California for a couple of weeks. He looked into my net and a blinding smile crossed his face.  
><em>

_"You did it Kid!" He confirmed; his pride and love radiating from him. He insisted someone take a photo of my first ever catch. It was my last ever catch as well, but it sure did taste better than any other fish had. _

"Charlie." I breathed, running a finger over the picture where his smile beamed at me. It felt nice to remember, to be able to put a context to the image in front of me. I traded the fishing photo for another one, in this one I was about six years old. I was dressed in jeans and a multicoloured zig zag sweater. Charlie was knelt next to me, holding a Power Rangers backpack in front of him. My first day of school.

_I was skipping beside my dad as we walked along the streets, I was so excited about starting school and was yapping merrily at my dad, often tugging on his hand to make him hurry up. Once we reached the gates we paused. Charlie helped me put my backpack on, inside it I knew there was a matching pencil case filled with pencils and crayons all the colors of the rainbow. We walked calmly into school and into my classroom, there were other children buzzing around but I didn't really pay attention to them. I hung my coat up on the hook with my name above it, there was also a picture of a clown there too. I placed my backpack carefully below my coat and looked at my dad. He hugged me tightly and wished me luck, then he told me how proud he was of me, and how smart he knew I was. Then he left the room and I was ushered to my seat. _

The memory faded and I bit back a sob, I was sad that I couldn't see my dad now, but something in me told me this feeling wasn't new. It wasn't a restriction placed upon me by what I'd chosen to become. "Tell me Bella." Jasper whispered, squeezing me gently. So I recounted both memories to him, recalling every detail I possibly could from the scattering of white hairs around Charlie's temples to the graze on my elbow from falling on the riverbank. Each word opened up a slight wound inside me, one which I didn't quite understand.

"Where is he?" I asked in barely more than a whisper. I longed to hear that he was happy and healthy in Forks, but from the look on Jaspers face I knew that wasn't going to be the case. He closed his eyes for a moment and nuzzled my neck, breathing my scent in deeply before looking back at me.

"He passed away baby, fifteen months ago." His voice was laced with sadness but I simply nodded, I had known that, it had been there in the bag of my brain. I had mourned him after he'd been shot while on duty.

"_I'm sorry Isabella, Charlie was killed in the line of duty when he was called to an armed robbery. An ambulance was called but he had already passed on by the time they made it to the hospital. I'm sorry for your loss." _

The officer's words echoed around my head. I had been at college at the time. The phone call was the reason I moved back to Forks. I knew there was more to it, but I couldn't figure it out just at that moment. "Armed robbery." I said for Jaspers benefit, letting him know I remembered. "I need to stop. I need to think." I needed to hunt. Without another word I freed myself of Jaspers embrace and darted out of the back door and headed straight for the forest. I knew at least two of them would follow me, they always did, not wanting me to accidentally run across a human scent and kill them. I ignored the sounds of their footsteps rushing behind me as I caught a whiff of elk to the west of me, I suddenly changed my direction and began my hunt.

There were three of them, all female. Grazing just below me in a clearing. I watched them from my perch in the tree, waiting for my moment to strike. I dropped silently onto the ground once the wind shifted enough to put me down wind from my prey. I pounced on the one nearest me, sending the other two scampering off into the safety of the trees while my teeth ripped through fur, flesh, fat, sinew until they met an artery. The blood spilled into my mouth, soothing my parched throat as it coated my mouth. I drained the animal dry in minutes without spilling a drop. When I was done I felt a little better, my mind was a little clearer even if it was still dragging memories to the forefront of my mind. Charlie was being remembered. That's what mattered, I remembered the man who had raised me, given me life and love.

Jasper found me ten minutes later sat in a tree. My legs were dangling off the branch and swinging below me as I stared out across the treetops. He said nothing as he sat next to me, wrapping me in the safety and comfort of his arms. "Darlin', there's someone at the house. They want to see you."

"I don't want to see anyone Jasper. I want to sleep. I miss sleep. I miss feeling refreshed after a good night's rest. I miss yawning. Hell I miss the feeling of needing the bathroom. I miss a hell of a lot that I don't even remember." I whined, burying my face in his chest, I took a lungful of his scent in, he smelt like earth. Earth, sawdust, wet grass and midnight. I loved his smell. I could drown in it. "But I love knowing I get forever with you." I smiled, pressing a kiss above his heart. "I love knowing that you'll help me remember my human life while helping make new memories in this one. I love knowing I can see every sunrise for the rest of time while I'm in your arms."

"And every sunset Sugar." He drawled, squeezing me gently before telling me we had to go back to the house. I growled in frustration but shimmied down the tree nonetheless and we started the run back to the house hand in hand.

Two new scents hit me as we strolled into the house, meandering through the kitchen. One was male, the other female. There was something familiar about them. As we reached the living room I spotted our guests and a squeal left me as I pounced on the male visitor. The contact made him let out a gruff exhale but he hugged me tightly before putting me back on my feet.

"Petey." I giggled in happiness. Just like with the rest of my family I remembered random shit about our time together, like I knew he hated Britney Spears, but loved talking about the intricacies of the human blood system. I also knew that he was my brother, and his wife, Charlotte, was my sister. I knew Jasper had changed them. I knew Peter just 'knew shit' sometimes.

"Wow, B, you change up good." He smirked at me, his red eyes shining down at me. I knew my eyes were still transitioning from the red of a newborn to the gold of a Cullen, they were a burnt orange shade at the moment. Charlotte nudge him out of my line of sight and hugged me tightly.

"We missed you Bells." She whispered before taking a step back and appraising my new look.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Your Major over there asked us to stop by. I think he just wanted to show you off." Peter said, nodding his head in Jaspers direction behind me. I spun to look at him, he shrugged telling me he had indeed wanted to show me and my 'control' off. I still didn't feel very controlled.

"If he's the Major, what're you Bella?" Emmett chimed in from his seat on the couch. I hadn't really registered the rooms other occupants, my attention having been focused on the new arrivals, but I knew that Em, Rose and Alice were all present. Just like I knew that Carlisle was in his study and Esme was in hers. I also knew that Edward was nowhere nearby.

"She's the Colonel." Charlotte laughed and I joined in as Jasper growled teasingly behind me, stepping closer. "Oh give it a rest Jay, you know she's in charge, she always has been, even as a human you were wrapped around her delicate little pinkie." As if to emphasise her point Charlotte wiggled her pinkie finger at him while Peter and I shared and eye roll.

We'd all settled into a friendly banter, with Peter and Charlotte filling me in on what they'd been up to recently (ridding the world of paedophiles and rapists in Texas, apparently) and what their plans were for the next few months (staying with us to play 'annoy the newborn'). The rest of the family joined in and this was how Edward found us when he returned, but something about him seemed different, a new scent washed through the air. It was sweet, almost sickly sweet, and it made my throat flare. In one sixty fourth of a second I had leapt across the room and was sniffing him. He was covered in the smell, and it made the creature inside me roar with want, with need.

"Fuck Eddie." Emmett sighed as Peter and Jasper pulled me away from the smell, though I was fighting them. "Could you not have changed your clothes first?"

"I didn't really think about it Emmett." Edward said, running a hand through his bronze hair, the movement sent another wave of the smell to me, I inhaled it greedily.

"I want it." I whined, straining in Jasper and Peters grasp to try and get to Edward, for him to tell me the source of that delicious smell. I wanted to find it and savour it.

"Isabella." Jasper was in front of me now, one of his arms around waist, the hand of the other was forcing my head to face him. His eyes captured my attention. "You don't want that." I swallowed a couple of times.

"I do Jazz. I need it. I need to taste it." I mewled like a kitten, my arms struggling to get out of Peters vice like grip.

"Baby, that smell is a human." It took a moment for me to register those words before I stopped struggling. A human? They smelt that good? Why did we have to live off animals if humans smelt that good? "They're people Isabella. With families, and futures." No, they were delicious.

"It's nice to know she's not the control freak you thought she was Jay."

"Shut the fuck up Peter." He growled, not taking his eyes off me. My eyes were darting between my mate and Edward. The bronze haired boy hadn't moved a muscle since he'd run his hand through his hair and I desperately wanted him to, I craved another chance to taste the smell he'd brought home with him. "Edward, for fuck's sake get out of here. Change your clothes and shower." Jasper ordered, his eyes blazing. As Edward moved I caught another wave and audibly groaned at the sweetness of it before immediately restarting my attempts at freedom so I could follow Edward and ask him the location of the smell or go find it myself. "Darlin', listen to me. You don't want to hunt humans. You'd regret it."

"No I wouldn't. Jazz, I _need_ it, don't you understand?"

"Of course I understand Sugar." He soothed me, his fingers stroking my back gently as he pushed a calmness at me.

"How could you even be around me when I was human? How did any of you stand it?"

"I loved you. We all did, it helped with our control. And we had a lot more experience being vegetarian than you Darlin'." I whined again as my throat felt raw.

"Do you want to hunt again?" Jasper asked a little while later when my head had cleared a little. I shook my head. I needed to associate the pain with that smell. He'd been right, I'd hate myself if I took a human life. I never wanted to be that person. I needed to make the connection between that deliciously tempting scent and the pain in my throat. I also had to ignore the fact that I knew the source of the scent could cure the burn. It was going to be a long time before I was ready to go out in public.

"It's a good thing you were here Captain." Emmett said to Peter.

"Jay could've handled it on his own, he's dealt with worse." Peter shrugged, but Emmett insisted on continuing the conversation.

"Yeah but the others weren't Bella, were they? He didn't love them."

"Emmett." Jasper growled in warning. "Shut up."

"You did great though Bells." Emmett said to me as Rose dragged him out of the room, muttering something about him not knowing when to shut up.

"Jasper, how am I ever going to be able to resist that?" I asked after the room had fallen into silence.

"Time and experience Darlin'. Just like the rest of us. But don't you dare feel guilty about your reaction." He ordered as the guilt started to creep up on me.

"But I shouldn't have wanted it so much." I insisted.

"Isabella, listen to me, you reacted in a perfectly natural way to the smell of humans." Peter insisted form across the room before Jasper cut in.  
>"You weren't even really fighting us Sugar. If you had been we wouldn't have been able to hold you like that. We'd have had you pinned to the floor instead. So relax, and stop blaming yourself for an instinct you can't control."<p>

"I might not be able to control the instinct, but I will learn to control how I react to it." I said firmly.

"In time Sugar. In time." I sighed as Jasper nipped my neck lightly starting what was to be a long night of 'make-Bella-forget' sex. Not that I was complaining.

Peter and Charlotte certainly seemed as ruffled as the rest of the household when we spotted them the next morning, apparently they'd left the house to try out the forest, but they still didn't escape Jazz's projecting. "Morning." I greeted them all brightly, skipping over to the Jasper as he appeared in the doorway, we'd had to take separate showers for fear of never surfacing, so while he'd showered I had made my ritualistic coffee. I might not drink it anymore but the smell still had some meaning to Jasper, so every morning I made coffee, and every morning he smiled at the smell. I placed a quick kiss on Jaspers cheek before turning to the other members of the family. "What're we doing today?" I asked.

"Training." Peter said menacingly.

"And remembering." Alice tinkled brightly.

"Awesome." I grinned.

I knew I should be a little wary of the idea of training with Peter and Jasper, I could see their scars, I knew instinctively that they could be dangerous. But I also knew that they'd never truly hurt me. They'd never kill me. I also knew that they had more fighting experience in their big toes than the rest of the Cullens put together, along with experience with Newborns. Jasper had filled me in between orgasms last night. I knew all about Maria and the Southern wars. I knew all about Jasper's past. And most of Peter and Charlottes for all three of them were intrinsically linked. I knew I should feel terrified when I stood across the clearing from Peter an hour later, the sun shining off his skin, making him sparkle, though his scars were duller, it only brought them more to my attention. But I wasn't afraid.

Then he attacked.

**AN: Leave some love?**


	6. Training

**AN: Okay, I know this is a little short, but I felt it needed to be its own chapter. I want to thank everyone who's reading this for taking the time out to do so. I also want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favourited or alerted this story, it's wonderful to know that people are enjoying the story I'm creating.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns everything. Doesn't mean I can't borrow and play. =P<strong>

With a growl Peter leapt at me from across the clearing, in a second his hands had connected with my shoulders, knocking me backwards to the floor and pinning me there. I snapped at him once before he got off me and helped me stand up. "You need to pay attention Colonel." He said teasingly, pointing his finger at me which I snapped at playfully as if to bite it off. He was right I hadn't being paying the attention I should have been; instead my mind had found out a few new facts for me. The sapling off to my right had a hundred and thirty nine leaves, with fifty new ones budding. The square foot of ground in front of me contained three thousand and nine blades of grass and two dandelions. There was a cloud in the sky that looked like an elephant eating an oversized peanut. And so on. I had catalogued everything around me, except Peter.

This time Jasper stood in front of me. No, this wasn't the Jasper who just a couple of hours ago had made me scream out his name in pleasure. This was the Major, the God of War in all of his sadistic beauty. The hairs on the back of my neck stood a little eon end as his black eyes swept over me from his crouch. I dropped into a natural defensive crouch, all of my attention focused on the 'threat' in front of me. Once I was focused my muscles seemed to work of their own accord. Jasper feinted left then moved right, I had anticipated his action and we were still opposite one another. Instead of stepping back as he stepped forward I also took one forward. I watched as the muscles in his legs bunched up slightly, his whole weight shifting as he prepared to pounce. One ninetieth of a second late he sailed through the air towards me, I ducked to the side, grabbing his outstretched arm and spinning him so he landed on his back, I wasted no time and was perched on his chest as soon as he touched the earth, my teeth at his neck, growling.

"Fuck." Was the only sound I heard as my mind cleared the instinct to protect myself and I relaxed a little. Jasper wound his arms around my waist, pulling me to sit in his lap as he sat up, his eyes returning to their usual gold hue. I buried my face in his neck, surrounding myself with his scent. In all honesty I was a little afraid of what had happened. I hadn't thought about my actions, I just reacted; my body wasn't mine to control. Jasper tried to calm me with his words, but they didn't work, finally he resorted to his gift and I felt my grip on him relax, even though I had no idea when my arms had wrapped around his neck. Once we had both calmed down enough Jasper brought us both to stand, our family surrounded us, asking me questions about what had happened, but Jasper and Peter slunk off to one side, whispering low and fast together.

Charlotte nudged me when she caught me gaze."I guess you really are the Colonel." I frowned, confused. "The Major's never lost a fight B. Not even a play one." My eyes widened with this knowledge. I was the first person in over a hundred and fifty years to beat Major Jasper Whitlock in a fight. Fuck was definitely my word of choice.

Soon Jasper and Peter rejoined us, both of them looking a little shocked by the events but they managed to conceal it rather well for the most part. Soon everyone started breaking off into airs, taking the opportunity to learn some new tricks from Peter and Charlotte who had both fought alongside Jasper during the Southern Wars. Jasper however took my hand and silently led me into the forest. We walked for about ten minutes before he turned to look at me.

"I'm so proud of you Darlin'." He whispered wrapping me up in a hug and holding me tightly against him.

"Why?" I breathed.

"You won. I know Charlotte told you the significance of that." He pulled back, looking at me.

"Yeah, she did." I nodded, stepping away from him and looking up into the forest canopy.

"What's wrong Sugar?"

"I'm scared. I don't know how I did it. All I remember is like a déjà vu, and I just knew what you were going to do. I didn't think about it, it wasn't planned, it just happened."

"Why does that scare you?"

"What if it's only a newborn thing? What if I can't defend myself in a year?"

"Bella, no newborn should be able to do what you just did."

"So once again, I'm not normal." I sighed, starting to walk back towards our family, lost in thought about just how different a newborn I was. Sure I didn't want the crazy mood swings, or unquenchable thirst, but just once it would be nice to do something that every other newborn did. I barely made it four steps before I took a quick step to the left, Jasper sailed passed me, his arms moving to grab something just at the spot where I had previously been stood. He landed with a thud on his stomach and rolled over to look at me.

"Same thing?" He asked.

"No, no déjà vu, I just knew I had to move at that moment." I shrugged, offering my hand to help him up which he took, keeping hold of it even once he was back on his feet. Jasper said nothing more, simply leading me back to the clearing where apparently I was still a topic of conversation. Or more specifically the theories of my having a gift were a topic of conversation.

Edward and Carlisle were in the midst of a discussion as Jasper and I approached them, though Jasper didn't stick around, he went to go observe Peter and Charlotte who were conducting a training session with Esme, Rose, Emmett and Alice. "I always said she was observant."

"We don't know for sure Edward."

"What don't we know for sure, Dad?" I asked Carlisle. I had started calling him 'dad' a few days after I moved into the Cullen's house and it had just stuck through my change.

"Nothing dear." He said quickly. I arched my eyebrow in disbelief before looking at Edward. I widened my eyes imploringly and pouted just a little, I still knew how to make him crack. I gave myself a mental high-five as he sighed in defeat.

"I think your ability to beat Jasper has something to do with how observant you were as a human. The change just amplified it, so you'd be able to beat Major Macho over there just by watching him closely enough." Edward explained. Part of the explanation made sense, I had been an observant human, but I doubted that the change would simply make me even more so, not with the case of déjà vu I'd experienced, or my 'just knowing' when to move in the forest. I shook my head.

"I think you're going along the right lines, but there has to be more to it." I sighed, folding my arms across my chest. I didn't want to think about this anymore and so I was truly grateful when my bear of a brother called me over to fight him.

I stood facing Emmett, he was regarding me closely, possibly waiting for me to make the first move, but even as a newborn I had more patience than him, and I knew better than to start the fight. I'd let the lug come to me, and come he did. More nimbly than you'd expect from someone of Emmett's size and stature he ran across the space between us. Just as his arms reached out to grab me I jumped in the air, turning as I landed on his back and quickly had my teeth at his neck. "Gotcha." I giggled making him grunt in acknowledgement and disgruntlement.

"That's one freaky gift Bells." He grumbled giving me a one armed hug before I returned to Jaspers side.

"Déjà vu?" Jasper asked softly. I shook my head.

"I just know shit." I laughed softly glancing at Peter who smirked at me before playfully saluting.

"Come on Major, I need a break." I grinned at him tugging him after me as I started making my way back to the house.

"One hour forty two minutes." Alice called out after us; I simply waved a hand over my head to show I'd heard her.

One hour and forty one minutes and fifty six seconds later Jasper and I were sat in the living room as our family joined us. Alice was bouncing around happily, a sign which never bode well for me. Sure enough she turned the board around, and I just knew today would be as difficult as yesterday. Maybe more so.

"Today, Renee." Was all she needed to say as she handed me the pictures, my memories started flooding me.


	7. Second Wave

**AN: The second half of the day now, it is memory time for Bella. This is a little more back story of Bella's life. Please let me know what you think. And thanks again to everyone out there who takes the time to read this little creation of mine.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I'm just playing God in the world she created. <strong>

Renee.

Mom.

Flighty.

Happy.

Loving.

Gone.

The last word rattled around my mind as I looked at the photograph of a seven year old me and a blonde haired, brown eyed woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties. I knew that this was my mom. This was Renee. We were both smiling at the camera; I was on her back, my chin resting on her shoulder, my arms around her neck. It was a sunny day, but we were clearly still in Forks, I could see my childhood home behind us. I struggled to remember the day it was taken, I wanted to remember, we seemed so happy. But I couldn't drag the memory out of the murky depths of my human memories.

"_Where's mom?" I asked an upset Charlie as he picked me up from school at the end of the day, I was eight. His eyes were red and puffy. He'd been crying. He held my hand tighter than usual as we walked to the cruiser. I thought it was strange, I always walked home with mom. She always picked me up. "Daddy?" I frowned as he started the engine.  
><em>

_"We're going to go see mommy sweetheart." Was the only response I got. After a long car ride we stopped in front of a big white building. Hospital. I was confused but I followed my dad through the white corridors which smelled of cleaning products. The smell made my nose itch. We passed lots of nurses and doctors, and some patients who were walking around.  
><em>

_"Daddy?" My voice was small and I clutched his hand tighter.  
><em>

_"It's alright sweetheart." He said stopping in front of a door and kneeling in front of me. "Now, mommy isn't very well so you'll have to be gentle with her. She needs her rest, but she wanted to see you." He said gentle before standing up and opening the door. I peered inside and saw my mom, looking pale, tubes going in and out of her; she looked so vulnerable and small. I stepped softly into the room and crept up beside her, as I climbed onto the chair by her bed and tentatively took her hand in mine, ignoring the needle in her skin, she turned her head to look at me and gave me a weak smile.  
><em>

_"Hey baby girl." Her voice was rough and pained.  
><em>

_"Hi mommy." I whispered.  
><em>

_"How was school?"  
><em>

_"Okay." I shrugged. "We had a spelling test."  
><em>

_"How did you do?"  
><em>

_"I got them all right." I smiled, and a look of pride passed across my parents faces.  
><em>

_"That's my baby." Mom sighed. "Come here." She said, beckoning me onto the bed beside her. I did as I was told, being careful of the tubes and wires as I settled myself on the bed, curling into my mom's side while she ran her fingers through my hair. My eyes drifted closed and I fell asleep. _

_I woke up as I was being lifted off the bed by strong, rough hands. I whined against been woken for a moment before I remembered where we were and I stretched out for my mom, but she wasn't in my reach. "Sweetheart, you have to go home. Mrs Richardson is going to take you home and look after you until I get back, alright?" I shook my head, twisting in his grasp so my face burrowed in his neck, my arms tight around his neck and my legs gripping his waist. I didn't want to leave. I didn't know what was going on really, but I knew I didn't want to leave. _

_"Bella." Charlie said, his gruff voice laced with tears. Then he was holding me tighter to him. Hugging me so tightly I could hardly breathe for a moment, but I didn't care. Then all at once I was pulled off him and taken home by our next door neighbour, a nice old lady, but not the woman I wanted bringing me home. I spent the night shut up in my room, refusing to speak or see anyone. I was scared and confused. _

We went to the funeral a week later. Charlie had told me a few years later, when I was old enough to understand, that Renee had died of acute myeloid leukaemia (AML), it is an aggressive cancer of the bone marrow. At the hospital they had tried to treat her, but nothing they did had worked. She had died while I had slept beside her which is why Charlie had to send me home. He said she was smiling, and that she'd said she loved me before she fell asleep for the last time. I had grieved and though I'd known there'd always be a part of me missing I had found a way to carry on.

A sob ripped through me as I remembered the pain I had gone through. My knees gave out, but Carlisle had me in his arms before I hit the floor. I turned into his embrace, allowing the tearless sobs to wrack my body. I felt Esme sit beside us, her gentle fingers running through my hair, bringing on a new wave of sobs. I heard everyone leave the room, everyone except Carlisle. He hummed softly too me while rocking me gently, letting me grieve for the 'fresh' loss of my mother. After a while my sobs quietened and I pulled away from Carlisle's chest enough to let me see his face. "I'm so-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry Isabella." He said softly, understanding written all over his face. "You were close to your mother. You spoke of her all the time when you first came to us." I nodded, sniffing slightly as my crying ended. "She sounds like a wonderful woman, and you're a testament to both of your parents, you are strong, independent, caring and completely selfless. You love people unconditionally for who they really are. They would both be proud of you, in fact I know that Charlie was." He kissed my forehead. "I think you need to go talk to Jasper. You were throwing out a lot of heavy emotions." I squeezed him tightly, whispering my thanks and kissing his cheek before I followed the scent of my mate up to our room.

Jasper was stretched out on the bed, his eyes closed tightly, though they snapped open as I closed the door. "Are you okay Sugar?" He asked softly as I crawled up on the bed beside him, resting my head on his chest.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Today has just been a bit overwhelming that's all." My fingers traced patterns across his stomach over his t-shirt, distracting me for a moment.

"Tell me about her?" I nodded and told him everything I could remember about my biological mother, from her numerous Kitchen Creations, to days spent with her and Charlie on picnics, and finally that day in the hospital and her funeral. He held me close throughout my recollections, asking questions and laughing with me over Renee's penchant for wanting to try new and potentially dangerous hobbies. I felt lighter when we were all talked out, like I had honoured her the same way I had Charlie. I remembered, and would remember for the rest of eternity. They both would live on in me.

We stayed on the bed for a little longer before we decided to join the rest of the family. We apparently needed to discuss the possibility of my gift. I thought this time could be best spent in other ways, many of them involving staying on the bed, though a few of my ideas would require relocating temporarily to the shower, desk or floor. Jasper chuckled quietly from behind me as I changed my clothes, opting for a pair of green plaid pyjama bottoms and a white strap top. "Darlin', you have to stop thinking like that." He warned.

"Why?" I whined softly, pouting as I turned to look at him. He had joined me in the pyjama wearing decision and had donned plain blue pants with a black tight t-shirt.

"Because if you carry on thinking like that then we'll never leave the room." He murmured drawing me to him by my hips.

"That's kind of the idea." I smirked, kissing his neck gently causing him to growl softly.

"Bella." He groaned as one of his thighs shifted between mine. I was winning.

"Oi! The pair of you, down here, now!" Charlotte shouted up the stairs making us both growl before we pulled ourselves apart and headed down the stairs.

"About time." Emmett grumbled, Rose promptly hit him around the back of his head making the other guys of the family chuckle. "Can we talk about Bella being a Bad Ass now?" He whined looking at Carlisle and Edward.

"Well, Peter, Edward and I have discussed what we think the possibilities are." Carlisle now had my full attention. "We think that since Edward is still unable to read Bella's mind that she has basic defensive abilities."

"Basic?" Rose snorted.

"Yes Rosalie. Her mind is protected from mental attacks."

"Well we knew that." Alice said with an eye roll.

"Alice." Esme scolded her softly, allowing Carlisle to continue.

"Yes, well, we also believe that her tendency to be overly observant has carried over enabling her to defend herself physically as well."

"Either that or she was secretly a ninja before she was changed." Peter chuckled, I threw a pillow at him, which he caught with ease.

"So, Dad, you're saying that I have the ability to beat Jasper because I was observant as a human?" He nodded.

"None of what you did involves fighting skills beyond instinct, you won by your ability to pre-empt Jaspers movements and react accordingly. Even Alice and Edward can't do it as well as you because he only reads thoughts, which can lie, and Alice can't see fights based on instincts because no actual decisions are made." It made sense I guess. I simply shrugged, not really caring about the intricacies of my 'gift' for the time being. What I really wanted to be doing was... well, Jasper.

I got my wish a few minutes later. Apparently the lust and desire I was giving off was overwhelming Jasper who then started projecting, affecting everybody in the room. That was how I found myself underneath a black eyed Jasper as he swiftly thrust into me, making me scream out in pleasure. "Is this what you wanted Darlin'?" He growled in my ear as he nipped at my earlobe.

"One of the things I wanted." I breathed out, biting his shoulder lightly as he pounded into me, unrelenting. It didn't take long for us both to fall over the edge, but we weren't done yet. He pulled out of me, causing me to groan in objection just before his fingers started swirling around my clit, he wasn't applying quite enough pleasure to quell my need for friction, just enough to cause my stomach to tighten and wetness to pool between my legs.

"I have plans for you Sugar." He smiled down at me menacingly and I tried to rub my thighs together but his free hand prevented me. "No. You won't come again until I say so, understand?" The command in his voice was clear.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, Major." He smirked and we were off again, we only stopped after the sun hit my skin as we lay sprawled on the rug in our room, my skin sparkling in the early light. We had been busy, there were no tiles left in the shower, our bed frame had snapped at some point and most of our possessions had been dragged to the floor and were in disarray around us. I couldn't help but giggle as I looked at the devastation around us.

"Wow. We got carried away." I laughed. He hummed in approval before sheathing himself inside me again, this time however we were making love, our fucking had been fierce and demanding but this was gentle and kind, filled with affection as I whispered words of love to him and in turn he cocooned us in his love for me. We silently reached our climax and separated, no words needed to be said between us as we lay in the destruction our need to express our love had created. I never wanted to move from this spot.

"Thanks Bella!" Emmett yelled through the house making me growl at the realisation that we couldn't stay there forever. I had to decapitate my brother at least. I pulled on sweats and a t-shirt and flew out of the room, my movement followed by Jasper's chuckle and warning to Emmett.


	8. No Prompting

**AN: Hey, another update for you. This one is one a lot of you have been waiting for. There's some of the Bella/Edward back story. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own my imagination, and borrow her creation. <strong>

"Emmett McCarty Cullen!" I screeched as I followed the sound of him running through the house towards the back door. I was still on the second floor so I decided to use a short cut and leap out of the open window. I landed gracefully but still a little ways behind Emmett as he ran into the tree line. As soon as he was out of sight I smirked to myself and wandered back into the house via the door that he'd just left by. Since I was in the kitchen I flicked the switch on the coffee maker so it started brewing my morning cup and settled myself onto a seat at the breakfast bar. It wasn't long until Rose joined me.

"Morning, Bella." She chimed happily, amusement ringing in her voice.

"Mornin', Rose." I smiled at her as I leafed through a magazine Alice had left behind.

"Where's my husband?" I shrugged with a giggle.

"Halfway to Canada?" I suggested, sharing a look with my sister. The look clearly said he deserved it. Sure he was running away now, but he'd be back eventually, and when he was I'd get him.

"Fair enough." Rose smiled as she took the magazine from me and I went to pour my cup of coffee. "You know, last night was pretty intense Bells." She said after a moment.

"I know, but yesterday was intense. I just needed to blow off some steam." I sat back down opposite her.

"And what better way than ridin' your very own cowboy?" She smirked, glancing up at me.

"Precisely." I laughed, a slight shudder running through me as I remembered the night before. We sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before we were joined by the Whitlocks.

"Mornin' Sugar." Jasper purred, leaning over me slightly and inhaling the smell of the coffee I held between my hands.

"Hey Cowboy." I drawled.

"Colonel." Peter chuckled as he joined us at the breakfast bar.

"Petey." I greeted him before looking to Charlotte that stood leaning against his side. "Char." She inclined her head towards me with the smile of a very satisfied woman. Carlisle appeared, ready for another shift at the hospital, he wished us all a good day before leaving. Finally mom came down, she pressed a kiss to the top of my head and ruffled Jaspers hair fondly. "Good night, mom?" I asked with a smirk.

"It was lovely, thank you for asking." She replied serenely. "Though Alice said that she and Edward wouldn't be back until this evening." I nodded.

"Does that mean no 'This is your life' stuff today?" Jaspers phone buzzed in his jean pocket, because he'd gotten dressed before coming downstairs.

"Alice says she's not sure, she'll let you know." He relayed the message. He ran his nose along the side of my neck and purred. "You still smell like me and sex Darlin'." He growled so low in my ear that only I would be able to hear him.

"And with that I say I'm going to go shower. I refuse to smell like sex all day." I said bluntly, making the whole room laugh. I pecked Jasper's cheek and headed for our room. He was right, I could smell him all over me, and our whole room smelt of sex.

I took a long relaxing shower, letting the water soothe me, even though it was purely a mental thing, the water, even as hot as it was did nothing to really help my muscles, but the familiarity was comforting. I also used my strawberry shampoo and body wash to remove the smell of sex and Jasper. As much as I loved being covered in his scent the jokes of the others were not worth it with my current anger management problems. I wrapped myself in a towel as I left the shower and wandered into the bedroom, throwing open the huge windows to air the room out a little as I decided on my outfit for the day. I settled on some stonewash skinny jeans, a black tank top and one of Jaspers plaid shirts, tying around my waist but leaving the buttons undone. I also pulled on a pair of black Ugg boots and dried my hair, making sure it was secured in a ponytail before I headed back downstairs.

Everyone was outside on the deck talking, except Jasper and Peter who were play fighting on the grass. The sounds of them colliding were like thunder, thankfully we were too far away from the town for anyone to hear. I took a seat between Char and Esme, listening to the discussion. I was just about to join in when Emmett appeared from the tree line. Jasper and Peter stopped mid fight, both smirking as I rose from my seat.

Emmett walked towards me, hands raised in surrender as he approached. I offered him a small smile, though on the inside I was plotting. "Bells, I'm sorry about this morning." He said in a small voice.

"How far did you get?"

"Winnipeg. Then I realised you weren't following me so I came back." I nodded in acknowledgement before I leapt at him. He back up quickly, making me land in a roll, springing up straight in front of him. I barely reached his shoulder but that didn't matter.

"You, brother dear, need to learn some manners." I said in a deceptively sweet voice as I bit back a growl. He reached a hand out to ruffle my hair as he nodded.

"I know –" I cut him off by grabbing his wrist, spinning behind him and pulling his arm up his back, forcing him to his knees. I wrapped one arm around his neck as I lowered my lips to his ear.

"You will never comment on my personal relationship with Jasper again. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?" I growled, tugging his arm a little higher making him wince.

"Yes Colonel." I released his wrist and pushed him forward so he landed face first on the grass. The rest of the family burst into laughter as I skipped over to Jasper who was bent over he was laughing so hard. Peter was resting a hand on Jaspers shoulder to steady himself but I brushed it off as I leapt onto my mates back.

"Save a horse." I chuckled as his arms hooked behind my knees and he straightened up, my arms around his neck. I kissed his cheek softly, running one hand through his hair and loving the purr that reverberated through him.

"Chicken!" Peter yelled and quickly Charlotte was on his shoulders, Rose was on Emmett's and I had shifted position to be seated on Jaspers shoulders. I yelped quietly as he bit my thigh gently. Esme sat in her seat, smiling indulgently as her children and guests acted their physical ages for once, and without breaking her furniture.

I was feeling rather smug as Alice and Edward arrived, Jasper and I had won the game of Chicken Peter incited and we now had him, Char, Rose and Em cleaning up after us. Rose and Char were doing our laundry while Peter and Em were putting our room back together after the devastation while Jasper and I curled up on the couch together and watched reality TV shows, laughing at the stupidity they highlighted. Alice wandered into the room and slumped into a chair while Edward flopped into the space beside me as I curled into Jasper. "Hey guys." I smiled brightly. Alice seemed to cheer up a little as I caught the meaning in her pathetic stare and changed the channel to 'America's Next Top Model', I rolled my eyes, she was too predictable some times. Edward turned to look at me for a moment, before he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "What's bugging you?" I asked looking at my brother.

"I wondered if I'd be able to talk to you." Even though he was talking to me he seemed to be asking Jasper's permission.

"He's not my keeper. He's my Major. Of course you can talk to me. You know that Edward." I laughed, nudging Jasper who seemed to be considering Edwards plea.

"Sorry Colonel." Jasper whispered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head.

"You will be." I sang and Alice laughed but shook her head.

"It won't work Bella."

"I know, but a girl can dream right?" I sighed, ignoring the confused look of Jasper and the smirk on Edwards face. "Come on then Eddie, where'd you wanna talk?" He frowned at the nickname but answered me anyway.

"My room?" I nodded and followed him quietly up to his room on the third floor. I hadn't been in here since my change but it didn't look too different from my human memories, what little I could see through the haze of my human vision.

I sat on his day bed while he sat in front of me, cross legged on the floor. "You wanted to talk?" I prompted after a minute of silence. He nodded and swallowed.

"What do you remember about me?" Oh, joy. This was instead of that stupid board. This was my remembering time.

"I remember I've loved you since I met you. I remember spending a lot of time with you. You introduced me to the family. You told me about what you are." I thought for a moment longer. "You left me." I gasped. A whole wrenching itself open in my chest, but the pain I expected to feel wasn't as intense as I thought it would be. It was dull, a memory of pain. Edward sat there watching me as I grasped my shirt over my still heart.

"We were...together." I forced out as flashes of our time together as a couple swam before me. The Meadow. School. Nights in my room at Charlie's. My birthday. Valentines. Christmas. "But you left me. Or did we leave each other?" I wasn't sure. I could see the discussion, but I couldn't hear what was being said. It was like it was behind thick murky glass.

"Keep going." He whispered from his spot on the floor, his eyes staring at me.

"We met at high school. Junior year. You guys had just moved down from Alaska. You told me we shouldn't be friends. I figured out what you are. We dated. I loved you. You loved me. We went to the meadow. I saw you sparkle. Masochistic lion. Stupid Lamb. We were happy. You stayed with me every night. My birthday. Paper cut. Jasper. You almost left. You stayed. It wasn't right. We fought. You tried to protect me, from everything. I didn't like it. I spoke to Alice. You loved me. It wasn't the right kind of love. I was a friend. A sister. You needed something else. Someone else. They were coming. Alice saw. You all left. You said goodbye. You took them." I stopped to take a breath. My short, broken sentences echoed around the room and I saw the hurt look on Edwards face. I remembered pretty much everything from our time together now, but I was relaying the main points so he'd know. "I was broken. I hated you. I went to college. You showed up. Sophomore year. You weren't the same. I wasn't the same. Jasper and Alice. Not together. You with...Ethan!" I gasped in the realisation that I had forgotten someone so central to Edward's life, to our relationship. I had felt so betrayed and rejected when we broke up, but when we met again at college and he was with Ethan, a beautiful, funny guy, I couldn't hate him as much.

"Ethan." Edward nodded.

"You kept him away from me. You said we had to fix things between us. You never expected me and Jasper. Alice did. She always knew this would happen. You were scared I'd say something to make Ethan leave you. He wasn't human, he was safe. We tried. It took two years and Charlie's death for me to forgive you, for us to get back to being friends. But we made it." I smiled as I reached the end of memory lane. I fell forward and hugged Edward tightly, he was my brother, a forgotten first love in the flushes of youth. But I still loved him. He was still family. And if it wasn't for him, I would never have gotten Jasper. "Thank you." I whispered in his ear before pulling away from his embrace and looking over his shoulder at Jasper who was leaning in the doorway holding a CD out to me.

I rose silently and took it, putting it in the stereo and pressing play. A beautiful lullaby wafted through the room from the speakers and I felt a calm spread through me that was manufactured by Jasper. I watched Edward stand up and move over to me, taking one of my hands in his and placing the other on my waist. My free hand rested on his shoulder as he started to move us across the floor. I laughed softly and let him lead, before long though Jasper cleared his throat and cut in. He pulled me close to his body and I rested my head against his shoulder, letting his contentment and happiness wash through me as we danced in my ex-boyfriends bedroom to a lullaby written to express a love we never shared, but which I shared with the blonde cowboy holding me in his arms.


	9. Reconcilliation

**AN: Alright, so this is a little more in depth back story for ya. I hope you enjoy it. I also want to say thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. Every review encourages me to write more. As does every alert and favourite, but is truly wonderful to hear your opinions on my work, so thank so much.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. But I wouldn't mind being stuck in the middle of Jasper and Edward. =] <strong>

"So you remember?"

"Yeah. It's weird though. I remember being so in love with him; he was perfect in my eyes." Jasper flinched a little as I spoke. I ran a hand through his hair, pulling his face to mine and kissing him deeply, throwing all of my love at him. When we broke apart we were both breathing roughly. "What I felt for Edward is nothing compared to what I feel for you, nothing compared to what I felt for you when I was still human. You're not perfect, you're vaguely possessive, smug, old, arrogant at times but you are perfect for me. Okay? So stop getting all insecure on me, you know how I feel about you, and you know I only care for Edward as a brother." I smiled softly, shifting my body slightly closer to his where we lay under the stars in the garden, the stars shimmering above us. Jasper was laid on his side, looking down at me while I lay on my back, his beauty made the stars pale in comparison, but he wasn't too keen on being called beautiful.

"I know Sugar, but a guy can't help but worry when his girl starts remembering how she felt for her former boyfriend, who happens to still live under the same roof as her." He chuckled softly, his laughter warming me inside, I could feel the happiness spreading out from the very core of me. It was great to know that I truly felt more for the delicious cowboy beside me than I had for anyone else, and I knew my feelings wouldn't lessen over the course of eternity, if anything they'd only get stronger.

"Former being the operative word. Besides, said former boyfriend has a very current boyfriend." I laughed, shaking my head a little before running my hand along his neck, cupping his jaw and looking into his golden eyes. I could get lost in them and be content forever. "When's Ethan coming back anyway?"

"I don't know Darlin' but Edward is leaving for New Hampshire in a few days to help him pack and come back." he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"That's promising. I miss Ethan, now I remember him. He was cool. Funny. Definitely a good influence on Eddie boy." I giggled, wriggling a little as Jaspers hand moved under my shirt and began dancing over my stomach.

A little later we returned to the house, just about managing to remain fully clothed while we were outside, though that didn't mean we didn't have some fun. Only Alice could be seen in the living room. I sat beside her, not disturbing her as she had _that_ look in her eye, the one that gives away when she's getting a vision. I waited while Jasper went to go do something in our room, I not sure what he just told me there was something he wanted to do. I pulled my knees to my chest and waited for my sister. Finally she looked at me and smiled. "Welcome back Ali." I grinned, "See anything interesting?" She nodded, smiling brightly.

"I'm not telling you though." I pouted but shook it off quickly, she always had her reasons. "Edward and Ethan will be back a week after Edward leaves." Alice informed me, pre-empting my next question for her.

"Thanks Al. Wanna watch a movie?"

"Nope." She popped the 'p' in her answer. "I have to go out. Psychic Sister stuff, you understand." She laughed as she jumped from the couch, bounding upstairs.

"No, I really don't." I muttered before taking the opportunity to control the TV and channel hopping for a while before that got boring. My mind was struggling to focus on much except the memories of Edward, though Jasper had been a fine distraction.

_The first time I saw Edward Cullen was in the lunchroom at Forks High School. Along with the rest of the Cullens. One of the girls I was sat with told me who they were. I tried to ignore him, but I couldn't, especially not when he turned out to be my lab partner in Biology. He ran away that day, I thought he hated me. Of course I know now he was trying not to eat me, but it really hurt at the time. He saved me from the guys in Port Angeles. They were disgusting creatures, worse than anything we could ever be in my opinion. I learnt about his skill. I figured out what the whole family was, is. I fell in love. We spent time at the meadow. Time in this house. Time at Charlie's. We were talked about at school, everyone sharing gossip, which like all good gossip was nowhere near the truth. I missed him when he went hunting. He slept beside me every night. His kisses always left me frustrated. He said it was too dangerous to do anything. I believed him. _

_I got a paper cut on my eighteenth birthday. Not a clever thing in a room full of vampires. Even smarter was Edward's idea of throwing me into some glass. Jasper couldn't help but take a snap at me, he had not only his but six other vampires bloodlust to contend with. Edward started pulling away from me after that. I confronted him. We argued. He was insistent that it wasn't safe for me to around his family. I was determined he was not going to dictate my life, or our relationship. I believe I called him a 'conceited, arrogant asshole' at one point. Things changed between us after that, we weren't as affectionate, we fought a lot more often, and a lot more loudly. Alice said she still saw me becoming a vampire. That hadn't changed. I was happy about that because I still wanted to be a part of the family, but I was content to wait until things with Edward were sorted out._

"_Bella? I need to talk to you, without shouting."  
><em>

_"Go ahead Edward."  
><em>

_"I think we need to stop this before either of us gets hurt."  
><em>

_"I'm already hurt Edward, but I'll be okay in time. Just tell me something, is there someone else?"  
><em>

_"No, there's no one else, yet. I love you, I do. I've just realised it's not the way you deserve to be loved, I love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you."  
><em>

_"Let me guess, you still want to be friends?"  
><em>

_"I would very much like to still be a part of your life Bella, yes."  
><em>

_"What did you mean when you said, yet?"  
><em>

_"Alice has seen something, someone. Nothing is concrete, the visions flicker, but I need to know."  
><em>

_"I understand. But I don't think I'll be able to be around you for a while Edward." He'd simply nodded, kissed my forehead and left my bedroom. The next day I woke to a note telling me they were all downstairs. Alice had seen something, a reason they needed to leave Forks, they had come to say goodbye. They were gone three days later. _

_I spent the summer mourning the loss of my family. I felt it so acutely. I hated Edward, blamed him for the family leaving. I believed he'd made Alice say she'd had a vision, just so he could get away from me. I'd become entirely too dependent on Edward, on all of them. I went to college. Dartmouth. Edward had assured me they weren't going to college for a while, but they didn't know where I was. I grew up a lot in my freshman year. I gained back a lot of my independence. I also lost my innocence. My eyes were opened to the real human world, and I found my place in it with my friends. I had fun, I studied hard, I was the poster child for a good college experience. _

_The second week of my sophomore year I walked into class, and there, in the back row was a familiar shock of bronze hair, and a dazzling pair of golden eyes. I squared my shoulders and took my seat four rows down from my past. After the lecture Edward had caught up with me, tried to talk to me but I hadn't listened, I refused to hear his excuses. It took a couple of months of his persistent badgering for me to agree to talk to him about what had happened. He told me about Ethan, about him falling in love with an amazing guy, and having to come to terms with himself and his sexuality all over again. He told me about Alice and Jasper, they had divorced after a vision Alice had had about them both finding their real mates. Apparently they'd always known they weren't it for each other. Emmett and Rose were off on another honeymoon. Alice was working in New York as an intern at a fashion house, and Jasper was also at Dartmouth, studying history. _

_I slowly started to forgive Edward and we managed to morph our relationship into a friendship with a side order of sibling rivalry. I started spending a lot of time with the Cullens once again, but I did not neglect my human friends. I found a balance. Jasper and I started talking and discovered we had a lot in common. We became friends quickly. Edward didn't like it, he was still overly protective, but I told him where to shove it. Ethan had found that amusing. I almost went into shock when Jasper asked me to be his date to the Valentines keg party. I agreed, already having developed a major crush on the blonde vampire. Eventually it became a regular thing for Jasper and I to go on 'dates', it wasn't until the fifth 'date' that I finally asked Jasper if he was ever going to fucking kiss me. that was the first night we made out, something that became an even more frequent past time. My human friends loved him in all of his southern country glory. And I came to realise that I loved him, as more than a friend. I introduced Jasper to Charlie as my boyfriend at the start of the summer between my Junior and senior years at college. _

_The end of that summer was horrific for me; it was the summer Charlie died. I realised my life was too short to hold grudges, so I let go of any lingering resentment towards Edward, and Ethan had removed the stick from his ass, allowing us to become closer than ever. Meanwhile my relationship with Jasper kept getting more and more serious. We talked about my change, if I wanted to be changed. I decided to wait a little, spend more time being human as I'd come to rather enjoy it. After my Graduation I had moved into the Cullens. A week later I had been changed. _

"Darlin'?" Jasper startled me; I had been so lost in recalling everything that had happened in the last five and a half years I hadn't noticed him come back downstairs. "You alright?"

"Better than ever." I smiled, and it was true, I had finally reconciled the events in my life that had brought me to this point in regards to Edward and Jasper, something which had been confusing me since the moment I had awoken to this new life.

"Now, what were you doing upstairs?"


	10. Surprise

**AN: Alright, so you'll find out what our little Jazzy was up to, and get a little insight into his and Bella's relationship while she was still human. But it is kind of fluffy too. Enjoy!  
>Disclaimer: SM owns all. I just wish owned Jasper. But hey, a girl can dream! =]<strong>

Jasper refused to tell me what he'd been doing upstairs and prevented me from trying to sneak up there to have a look. Instead he dragged me outside again, claiming I needed to hunt, which I kind of did, but I would've survived waiting until morning.

I took down a beautiful mountain lion, he – thankfully – put up a bit of a fight, making the blood taste that bit sweeter due to the adrenaline. After I had finished eating I buried the carcass and made my way to a large boulder, waiting for Jasper to come find me, after all it was his idea to come hunting, I wanted to go in my room.

"What's with the annoyance Sugar?" He drawled as he cleared the tree line, the moon hitting his skin and making him glow. He'd removed his shirt while he hunted and his jeans hung off his hips in a way that showcased the lickable 'v' which vanished under the waistband.

"Annoyed? Me? Never. I mean it's certainly not annoying to be kept out of your own room, or told you need to hunt when you actually don't." I rolled my eyes as he stalked closer to me until he was stood between my legs, his hands on my hips and his scent surrounding me.

"I'm just trying to do something nice for ya Darlin'."

"So why can't you just tell me what it is?"

"It's a surprise." He gently poked my nose with his finger as he smiled softly at me. My expression softened a little from a scowl to a frown.

"Jasper, I hate surprises." I whined, moving my hand from their folded position across my chest to rest on his shoulders.

"I know Sugar, but please, give me this one." He pleaded, looking at me form under his eyelashes in a very feminine way, against my will a giggle escaped my lips.

"No fair Jazz!"

"I never said I played fair Bella, now can you patient and wait for your surprise?"

"I guess." I mumbled, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his, his golden eyes dancing with happiness.

"That's my girl." He chuckled before lifting me off the boulder and pinning me against a fairly solid oak tree, though the tree did shake a little when it had a vampire slammed into it. His lips brushed mine gently, his breath mingling with mine for a moment just before he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading my mouth as his hips pressed against mine. After a minute though I pulled away.

"No." I said simply, though it came out as more of a gasp due to Jaspers teeth lightly scraping over my neck. "Jasper." I pushed him away from me with whatever force I could muster. "I'm still annoyed with you."

He looked dumbfounded. After all this was the first time I'd ever said no to him about this. Usually I was as horny as he was, but today I just couldn't get into it. "Darlin'..." He clearly had no idea what to say, and in all honesty neither did I so I just shrugged at him. He turned away and went to go retrieve his shirt from the tree he'd hung it on while I was left feeling a little guilty, not about refusing to have sex with him, but because of the look of hurt that had flashed through his eyes, I knew how rejection felt and I never wanted him to feel that, especially not because of me. He knew I loved him, and almost constantly wanted him inside me but now was one of the few times I didn't.

"Don't start feeling guilty Sugar. I understand, it just shocked me a little." He sighed from the other side of the clearing, now clad in a plain black button up that was only partially done up. He walked over to me and gave me a soft kiss, it was chaste and sweet and just what I needed to make me feel better.

I wasn't going to apologise so I took his hand and started leading us back to the house. It took us half an hour to walk back at a pace just quicker than a human. We walked in silence and entered the house the same way. There were no sounds from anywhere. The house was empty. Jasper decided to take the lead then.

He led me up the stairs and to the door of the guest room. I frowned a little as we stopped outside the door. Without a word he just pushed the door open and stood aside, leaving me to look into the room. I gasped and my hand flew to my throat, trying to stop any further sounds escaping me as I took in the scene before me.

From the pale cream wall colour to the twin beds, from the slightly deteriorating desks to the bookcase filled with text books and select fiction books Jasper had completely recreated my dorm room from college.

I turned to glance at him, still at a loss for words and he simply shrugged at me with a small smile. "I wanted to recreate our first 'date'." He explained after a moment.

"This...Jasper, it's...too much." I stuttered out, any remaining annoyance I had felt towards him had evaporated completely. I was stunned and touched, and so many other things I had to try and keep them all at least slightly contained so that they didn't overwhelm either me or Jasper.

"It's not enough, really. I wanted to take you out to dinner at your favourite restaurant, and dance with you until dawn. I wanted to give you the moon, Isabella."

"This is more than all of that put together Jay." I whisper, throwing myself into his arms and pressing a kiss to his neck, nipping it lightly. He hugged me tightly for a moment before extracting himself from my grasp.

"Go into Alice's room, your clothes are laid out in there. And don't forget the pony tail." He smiled softly. I rolled my eyes before turning and heading towards my sisters room, a small squeak escaped me as Jasper swatted my ass before he vanished into our room.

Sure enough, there on her bed, Alice had laid out my old comfort jean and a deep green V neck sweater, complete with black strap top to wear underneath. I quickly changed into the outfit, including a pair of well worn sneakers, to which Alice had attached a not expressing her hatred of them. ducking into her bathroom I put my hair up in a high pony tail, allowing a few strands to fall out of the hair band and frame my face.

Once I was ready I headed to 'my dorm room', and settled onto the bed, a battered copy of Wuthering Heights resting on the pillow in front of me, my legs bent at the knees and my ankles crossed in the air. A few moments later there came a knock on the door. I allowed myself a small smile before I called out, "Come in."

The door opened and there stood Jasper, leaning in the doorway, he was wearing black jeans which I knew from experience hugged his ass perfectly, and a white t-shirt, partially covered by the unbuttoned, button up he wore, also in black. Finishing his slight cowboy look were the black leather cowboy boot on his feet. My eyes dragged over him for a moment before he spoke.

"It's not safe to leave your door unlock you know."

"It's not like can keep out sadistic vampire bitches is it?" I replied with an arched eyebrow. Jasper shrugged and inclined his head in acceptance. "So, what brings you here Jasper?"

"I thought you might like some company. I know Alice is away hunting tonight." He finally moved from the doorway, closing the door behind him as he moved to the side of my bed and looked down at me, in turn causing me to turn my head more to look up at him.

"Company wouldn't be too bad I guess. Didn't think it'd come in the shape of Jasper Whitlock though."

"And why's that ma'am?"

"You always stay away from me. Well, you used to at least. It's not like I spend much time at the Cullen house now." I shook my head, shifting my position so my back was to my pillow and my legs were crossed in front of me, leaving the rest of the bed free. I motioned for him to sit down, and he did.

"I apologise for that, but it's hard to deal with the bloodlust f six other vampires constantly. Which is one of the reasons I thought it might be nice to spend some time getting to know each other away from any other influences."

"Influences?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Influences." He confirmed with a smirk. "I know this may seem belated but I wanted to apologise for what happened on your ..."

"Stop. You don't need to. I never blamed you for that Jasper. You should know that. It wasn't your fault. They all felt the same, and hey, you're an empath. It can't be easy handling your own bloodlust, let alone that of your families as well." The words rang just as true today as they had then, I had never blamed Jasper for his reaction to the stupid paper cut on my eighteenth birthday, and I never would, especially not now, not after gaining some insight into how controlling the bloodlust could be.

"You don't know how much that means to me Bella. And that is partially what I meant about 'other influences'."

"Oh."

"So, what were your plans for this evening before I interrupted you?"

"I was going to read for a while, then maybe have a long soak in the tub, nothing that can't be put off to another night." I smiled, relaxing in my seat, my gaze fixed on him, my eyes slowly travelling over his body. He really was a sight for sore eyes.

"Is there anything you want to do tonight now that you have company?" I shrugged, at the time I had been unable to think of anything to do, although right now I could think of so many things to do to the sinfully delicious man sat opposite me. He smirked at me knowingly and shook his head a fraction.

"I can't think of anything. How about we watch a movie?" I finally suggested.

"Sounds good. Which movie?"

"Take your pick, they're all on the shelf. I'm sure you'll figure out the order quickly enough." He chuckled and slunk over to the shelf which housed my pre-Jasper DVD collection. After we'd gotten together Jasper had taken it upon himself to expand my collection, always choosing a film I had never seen, but once I'd watched it, I adored.

"How about, 'The Hangover'? I've never seen it, but Emmett raved about it for a week after he watched it." He finally suggested, holding the case in his hands and glancing at me over his shoulder. I nodded my approval and he set up the DVD, pressing play before joining me again on my bed. This time he sat beside me, his arm slung across the back of the headboard as he reclined on the bed. His scent filled my senses, just like it had that night, though then it had made my heart race and my face flush, now it simply meant that the underwear I was currently wearing was ruined.

We watched the movie, laughing and joking together, and I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time, before long though, it was over and Jasper rose from his seat and returned the disc to its case and then to its spot on the shelf.

"It's an interesting system you have Isabella." He commented as he straightened up.

"I like it; I use it for my books as well." I smiled, watching him walk over to my bookshelf and glance over the titles and their arrangement.

"So they're done chronologically, and within each year alphabetically, huh?"

"Bravo. Most people don't figure it out. Even Edward struggled for a minute or two." I laughed, giving him a sarcastic applause, to which he performed an over dramatic bow. He glanced at the clock beside me.

"It's late. I should let the human get to sleep." The crestfallen feeling washed through me, neither human Bella, nor I wanted him to leave. But I nodded slowly. He walked to the door and I rose from my bed, walking behind him in an attempt to seem like a good hostess seeing out her guest. He opened the door and stepped through into the hallway, turning back to look at me where I stood, stranded in the doorway.

"Sleep tight Bella." He smiled softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead, sending electricity flying down my spine.

"Jasper." I breathed as his eyes caught mine once more, his were dark with lust, and I'm sure mine were too. "Kiss me." It was the same demand I'd made of him that night, though then I didn't understand my need to feel his lips against mine. I know now that I had fallen in love with my mate that night.

He didn't hesitate, his lips covered mine, moving gently with my own before his tongue swept over my bottom lip, I opened to him without thought as my hands tangled in his hair. One of his hands held onto the hair at the base of my neck, the other gripped my hip, pulling me closer to him as we stumbled backwards into the room, my knees hitting the side of the bed.

We pulled apart, both of us breathless. Our gazes locked together. I smiled up at him.

"Happy anniversary, Major."

"Happy anniversary, Colonel."


	11. Guilt

**AN: Alright here's the next chapter. It's set about a week after the last one, and there's more back story, fluff and a smidge of drama thrown in for your enjoyment. I apologise for not responding to the reviewers, I have had final exams for university which has taken up a lot of my time, but I have read every single one and I want to thank you all for your kind words, they make me want to keep on writing. So thank you all!  
>Disclaimer: SM owns all, but the Major owns my dreams. =]<strong>

I had felt a little bad about forgetting our two year anniversary, especially since Jasper had gone to so much effort, though he had tried to convince me not to feel that way, saying it was 'perfectly understandable' considering everything I'd been through recently. His words didn't help though.

I was sat at my computer, typing an email to Jacob. I was grateful we had managed to continue our friendship beyond the change, something I didn't doubt Vanessa had convinced him to at least attempt. She was a sweet girl and we'd gotten along great before her and Jake left Forks.

"Belly Bob Thornton!" Peter called from the living room, making Emmett chuckle down the hall. I growled softly before sending my message and closing my laptop before making my way down the stairs.

Peter was alone in the room, sprawled across the sofa as if he owned the thing. He was dressed in a pair of jeans which sported many more rips than would be considered fashionably acceptable, and a worn grey t-shirt. His brown hair was a little mussed, and he had _that _smile on his face.

"I take it charlotte forgave you then?" I muttered perching on the edge of the coffee table in front of my annoying brother.

"Multiple times." He chuckled before sitting up and looking at me seriously. His crimson eyes dancing with mischief. "So, what did you and the Major do last night?"

"We went on a date."

"How nice." Peter mused, running a hand through his hair.

"What's this about Pete?" I sighed, arching an eyebrow at him in question.

"You forgot your anniversary. And you feel guilty about it. You want to do something for Jasper in return."

"You talked to Jay."

"Correction, Jasper talked to Char, who in turn talked to me."

"Why would he talk to Charlotte?" I was a little confused.

"Because, sister dear, he needed a female perspective. He tried to explain to you that he didn't mind that you forgot, he just wanted to do something nice for you, but you didn't seem to pay attention to him."

"I paid attention." I muttered, but Peter waved my comment away.

"So he asked Char if she had any idea why it was bothering you so much. You've got your cowboy tying himself in knots tryin' to understand ya, sweet pea. So why don't you tell me what's got your little panties in a twist." He looked at me, waiting for me to start talking, but I couldn't think of how to word it. "Come on girlie. Start talking."

"Pete." I sighed, turning my eyes to the ceiling for a moment. "Okay, it's like this. When I was human I always felt kind of... inadequate I guess. Like I didn't deserve to be with Jasper, he was, is, more than I ever dreamed of. And I promised myself I'd do anything I could to show him how much he meant to me." I paused for a moment. "And then I go and forget our anniversary while he plans this huge romantic evening for us. He recreated my dorm room Pete! I don't care that I'm a newborn, or that I have a lot of stuff going on right now, mine and Jay's anniversary should never have left my mind!" I cried out, desperate for him to understand.

"Alright, calm down." Peter sighed, taking one of my hands and tugging me onto the sofa beside him. "I can kind of understand the feelings of inadequacy as a human. Kind of. But you're not a human anymore Bella. You're a vampire, a mated vampire at that. And to be honest you're kind of kick ass.

Would you care if Jasper had forgotten your anniversary?"

"No, of course not!"

"Why not?"

"He's got a lot on his plate trying to help his newborn mate, and keep her from killing poor unsuspecting humans while helping her find out about her weird ass power."

"So do you think that he cares if his newborn mate, who is trying not to kill poor unsuspecting humans and trying to figure out her weird ass power, forgot their anniversary?"

"No." I sighed. "But that's not the point Pete. I would never have forgotten it before my change, it just feels like I've lost something about myself. Like I'm not quite the same person I used to be. Like I'm not the Bella Jasper fell in love with anymore." I explained.

I had never thought that Jasper minded. I had never doubted him when he'd told me it didn't matter. It just mattered to me. I'd always remembered birthdays, anniversaries, important dates. It had been part of what made me, me. What made me Isabella Swan.

"You're being stupid about this Belly Bob. Jasper loves you. He loved you when you were human and had no sense of self preservation, and he loves you now when you can royally kick his ass. He doesn't love you because you remembered his birthday, or your anniversary. He loves you because you stand up for yourself, you stand up to him and call him out on his bullshit, you love unconditionally and put others ahead of yourself. He loves you for every part of you."

"Wow, I don't remember you ever being this mushy Petey." I said, trying to inject some humour into the moment.

"Shut your trap woman." He mock growled to me. "Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"I think so. Doesn't mean I don't feel the way I do though."

"I didn't expect you to suddenly stop with the guilt, just that you understand it's not necessary, and that you're still you, just a little distracted." He smirked.

I hugged him tightly, whispering a thank you in his ear before letting him go.

"Do you remember what I told you when we met?"

"Not really."

"Try." I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to pull that memory to the front of my mind.

_It was Spring Break, Jasper and I had gone on a road trip to Kalispell, Montana. It had been a spur of the moment thing since we were at a loose end. We had packed and climbed into his new truck before heading off. The drive had been fun, we'd talked, laughed, sung along to the radio and basically acted like two teenagers in love sharing an adventure. _

_We pulled up outside a Ranch house on the outskirts of town. It looked a little worse for wear, but nothing major. Jasper explained it was one of his houses, one of the coupe he'd bought before joining the Cullens. Before Alice. _

_It was open plan inside. The walls were painted in beige, highlighting the dark wood of the architecture. It was beautiful, and rustic and just so incredibly 'Jasper'. He took our bags upstairs while I wandered around, getting my bearings and generally being nosy. The kitchen was large, but traditional, there was no microwave or dishwasher but there was a stove and fridge. There was a study at the back of the house, a great oak desk sat proudly in the middle of the room which was lined with bookcases. I had trailed my fingers across the top of the desk, enjoying the smooth feel of the wood against my skin._

_I heard a car heading down the driveway and exited the study, moving into the living room and looking out of the window down the dirt track drive. A black Mazda CX-7 pulled up outside the house, but no one got out. I heard Jasper growl as he moved to the front door, just slow enough for me to follow his movement. He yanked open the driver's side door and started talking to whoever was inside, his hand running through his hair as he cast a glance back to me where I stood still in the window. _

_After a couple of minutes Jasper shut the door and stalked back into the house, joining me in the living room. "Darlin', it looks like we're going to have some visitors." He sighed. _

"_Who?" I asked, turning from the window to look at him, he looked annoyed at the intrusion, but still happy. _

"_Peter and Charlotte." He didn't need to say anymore. I knew that he considered Peter and Charlotte as his true family, he had explained how he'd met them. He'd created Peter, who in turn had created Charlotte. He'd helped them escape from Maria. They'd come back for him. They had saved him from himself and I had to meet the two people who started my Jasper on the road which led him to me. _

"_You don't mind do you Sugar?" I smiled as he twirled a strand of my hair around his fingers, a habit he had when he was nervous. _

"_I don't mind Jay, I've wanted to meet them since you told me about them." I smiled taking a step towards him and reaching up to kiss him gently before I slipped past him and stepped out of the house onto the porch._

_A brown haired man, who was similar to Jasper in stature if not a little shorter, and a petite blonde woman climbed from the car. The blonde danced up the steps in a fashion reminiscent of Alice, yet with a sedateness I appreciated. The male followed behind her at a human stroll. _

"_Isabella Swan." _

"_Peter Whitlock." Our eyes locked and he seemed to be trying to intimidate me. I let out a soft giggle. At that small noise Peter swept me up into a hug. _

"_Thank you for making my brother smile." He muttered into my hair. Charlotte had then tugged me from her mates arms and hugged me. Over her shoulder my gaze fell on Jasper who was leaning in the doorway his thumbs hooked into his belt loops looking every bit at ease, the smile on his face was what caught my attention, it was one of pure happiness, the likes of which I didn't see often, though they'd been becoming more common of late. _

"You thanked me for making Jasper happy." I muttered to Peter as I opened my eyes and looked at my brother.

"And right now, your guilt is making him very unhappy. So stop moping and get happy." With a quick pat on the knee Peter was gone, leaving me to finish processing the memory of our first meeting.

_We'd all convened in the living room, Charlotte and Peter on the sofa, Char snuggled into her mates side while Jasper and I occupied the chair opposite them, Jasper had pulled me onto his lap and wound his arms around my waist in a protective and yet possessive way, keeping my side, against his chest. _

"_I never thought I'd see the day." Peter mused, smirking at Jasper while Charlotte giggled softly._

"_And what day would that be?"_

"_The day you, Jasper Whitlock, God of War, were tamed. And by a human no less._

"_He's not tame." My tone was a little patronising as I ran my fingers through Jaspers hair, making him roll his eyes. _

"_Oh, no. Of course he isn't, he's still the ferocious soldier he was all those years ago." Charlotte laughed. _

"_Fuck off." Was Jaspers succinct reply. My stomach chose that moment to grumble. I pried Jasper's arms from around me as I stood from his lap. _

"_Time for the human to eat."_

"_There's a takeout menu in the drawer." Jasper supplied, shrugging at my curious look. "Emmett dared us to eat a pizza." i nodded in understanding before making my way into the kitchen. _

_I found the menu quickly enough and started looking through the food offered. "You make him happy you know." Charlotte said from across the table, making me jump a little. _

"_You all need to wear bells or something." I sighed, ignoring her comment for the moment._

"_Sorry." She shrugged, "I still can't believe you two are together."_

"_What do you mean?" I was cautious about this line of conversation, afraid that Charlotte thought Jasper and I weren't supposed to be, that she thought Alice or someone would be better for him. Yes, I was still rather insecure._

"_Just that Jasper mentioned how intense your relationship with Edward was when we came to visit them all in Forks. It sounded a little insane to me, but Edward seemed happy, if not a little obsessive."_

"_We were both obsessive, I was infatuated with him. I thought Edward was perfect, I put him on a pedestal and ignored the truth of the relationship. He controlled me, and I let him, thinking that it was the only way to keep him. Thinking that it was simply because of what he was that he was so possessive and paranoid._

_Now I know the truth. It wasn't what Edward was that made him like that, it was who he was. His denial of himself, and his nature. But now, with Jay, we're equals. Obviously not physically, but he doesn't try and control me, he doesn't dictate my life. I know he isn't perfect, far from it, but he's perfect for me." I sighed, finally selecting my pizza from the menu and wandering over to the phone. _

"_You bring something out in him that I thought had been lost. A sense of joy, contentment. I will never doubt that he loved Alice or that she loved him, she offered him hope when he needed it most. But she was his Edward. She changed him to fit her world. But you, you brought back the Jasper I knew. You brought my brother back." There was nothing I could say to that so I settled for dialling the takeout place and ordering my meal, forty minutes until delivery. That'd do. I turned to look at Charlotte. _

"_Shall we rejoin the boys?" She nodded, linking her arm through mine as we walked back into the living room and settled in for a night of laughter, reminiscing and family. It felt right to be there with the Whitlocks, it felt like I belonged. _

"Penny for your thoughts." Edward slumped next to me on the couch.

"Just thinking about the road trip Jazz and I took to Minnesota." I shrugged.

"You need to talk to that man of yours, you know?"

"I know." I sighed.

"He's in the back garden, pacing a mud patch in Esme's lawn, I suggest you stop him before she rips his legs off." I smiled gratefully and got up from the sofa, walking out into the fresh air.

Edward was right, I could see that some of the grass had been worn away under Jaspers feet. "Mom'll have your legs for that you know." I smiled as I took a seat on the top step of the decking.

"That she might Sugar." he sighed, coming to sit beside me. I instinctually snuggled into his side and he wound an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He was about to say something but I cut him off by placing a finger to his lips. "No, I'm sorry that I haven't really talked to you since our anniversary. I haven't explained myself." I took a breath.

"I'm scared Jay. Really scared that I'm losing myself. That I'm losing parts of me I didn't even realise were important until they weren't there anymore. It's not just about forgetting our anniversary, although that does bother me a lot, but it's also things like the fact I haven't really been reading, or writing since I changed. I haven't gone on a walk in the forest without it turning into a bloodbath. I know that it's part of being a newborn, being easily distracted, and in all honesty you're the best distraction I could have, but sometimes I just wish I was me again. You know, studious, sarcastic, fragile Bella."

"Do you regret being changed?" His voice was pained, and I could feel his dread.

"Not for a single second Jay. I love that I have eternity with you, and our family. I just wish this annoying newborn phase was out of the way. Hell, I really want to go back to high school, just to feel normal again." He had visibly relaxed at my first statement.

"You were never normal Darlin'. You walked into a house full of vampires and didn't bat an eyelash. You were hunted by a crazed nomad and only worried about our safety. You were left broken into pieces and you fought back, coming back to life. You were never normal, you were never meant to be. No normal girl could put up with me and my 'emo tendencies' as you like to call them." I laughed softly, still nuzzling into his shoulder, refusing to look at him.

"I've loved you since you were a shy seventeen year old who wasn't quite sure where she belonged. I loved you when I saw the sarcastic, witty, beautiful woman you'd become at college. And I love you now when you can thoroughly kick my ass." As he spoke he projected his feelings, wrapping me in a blanket of love, adoration, contentment and safety.

"I love you too, even if you are my tame vampire." I giggled, finally turning my face up to look at his. He was smirking down at me, he leant forward a little and captured my lips with his own. This kiss was deep but slow, there was no need, no urgency, no onslaught of lust, just pure love and it was wonderful, until...

"Ew! That's my little sister dude, can you keep your tongue out of her throat please?" Rolling our eyes we both turned to look at Emmett.

"No one said you had to watch Em." I pointed out, a small smile on my lips.

"It's kind of unavoidable when you're out in the open like this though."

"So go inside." Jasper suggested before turning my chin with his finger and picking up where we were interrupted. Emmett made a loud gagging noise before I felt Jasper being pushed away from me in the direction of the lawn.

The ground shook a little at the impact of Jasper and Emmett hitting the grass. "Em, I was a little busy." Jasper sighed, sounding irritated, but he had a playful smile on his face, he loved wrestling and Emmett was always a more than willing participant.

"Yeah, and you were gonna give me nightmares, _brother_."

"We don't sleep Em."

"That's so not the point." Emmett launched himself into a run, straight at Jasper, who leapt into the air, letting Em run straight under him. I stood up from my seat and wandered closer to the boys who were now in a blurry brawl across the grass, both of them landing hits and kicks, but neither truly winning just yet.

A body came flying towards me, and before I had time to realise who it was I was on the other side of the lawn watching Jasper land on Emmett's chest with a joyful growl, snapping his teeth at his brothers neck. But honestly it was Peter who had attracted my attention. He was watching me curiously, but with one of his looks that said something important was going on.

"Jay!" I called out, walking towards my mate slowly, knowing all too well not to approach too fast in the aftermath of a fight, even with my weird ass power Jasper could still occasionally catch me off guard and the guilt he felt afterwards was never worth it.

Jasper turned on Emmett's chest to look at me before he rose from his crouch and held his hand out to me. I slipped my hand into his and lead him towards Peter. The closer we got the tenser Jasper became beside me, shifting from my loveable Cowboy into The Major. "What is it Peter?" It only took one word for my world to start to crumble.

"Maria."


	12. Note

**AN: Thanks for your responses to the last chapter, and I must say that I have borrowed LittleRin26's word for describing Maria. This chapter has more of the current storyline than the back story, so without further ado... Oh, but beware of the lemon.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, but I own Tits McGee and would rip her throat out if Jasper were mine!<strong>

"Maria?" Was my articulate and highly rhetorical response, we all had vampire memory and hearing, Peter didn't need to repeat himself, and he knew that as he nodded at me. My grip on Jaspers hand had tightened without me realising it. Until he hissed in pain, making me release his hand quickly.

"What does that skank want?" Emmett chimed in from behind us.

"I don't know. She left a note though." Peter sighed, pulling a deep red envelope from his pocket and handing it to Jasper. I glanced at it as Jasper turned it over in his hands, on the front, in a neat scrawl were the words 'My Major', As I read it a low growl started in my throat, he was _my_ Major, not hers. Not anymore.

"Stand down soldier." Jay chuckled at me before tucking the envelope into his jeans pocket without reading it and dropping his arm over my shoulder. "We'll see you in a little while. Keep this to yourselves."

Jasper led us through the trees to a clearing where the stream which led form the Cullens back lawn widened a little, looking more like a river. He fell onto the grass, reclining until he was sprawled out on the floor, looking completely at ease, something that was really bugging me.

"What's wrong Darlin'?"

"What's wrong? How about the fact your psycho ex left you a little note at _our _home? That enough?" I stomped down to the edge of the water. I heard him chuckle behind me, but he didn't move, letting me have my temper tantrum.

"She didn't leave it Sugar. It was a messenger." He sighed.

"So why did Peter say it was her?"

"Oh, it's definitely from her, but she didn't bring it." Like that made it any better. "When you've calmed down we'll read it together."

It took me about ten minutes to get control of my emotions, managing to fight down my unreasonable anger and frustration. I still wasn't happy with the idea of Jasper's little pen pal, but I was a lot calmer, and a hell of a lot more rational now.

"That's better." He smiled, sitting up and waving me over to him. Without thought I joined him on the ground, tucking myself into his side, basking in his scent. "Now, shall we?" I nodded silently as he tugged open the dark envelope and pulled out a crisp white sheet of paper with black typing on it.

**It's time to return to the fold. **

That was all it said. I looked to Jasper whose brow was furrowed with anger, but there was a look of resignation in his eyes. "Jay?" He turned to look at me.

"I need to talk to Peter." Was all he said as he got to his feet and left at a run, leaving me feeling confused and worried. I wanted to know what the hell that cryptic little message meant. In an instant I was following Jasper back towards the house, as soon as it was in sight however Charlotte blocked my path.

"Give the boys a few moments Colonel." She said softly, a slight smile on her lips, though even to me it seemed forced.

"I want to know what's going on." I said, forcing calmness into my voice. I glanced back at the house and saw Peter and Jasper talking quietly, but quickly, and in Spanish. I hated when they did that, I didn't know Spanish. As I spoke Peter looked over at me before turning his attention back to Jasper and pointing in my direction.

"Darlin'?" Jasper called from the deck, I looked at Charlotte who sighed but stepped out of my way. I was at my mates' side in an instant. Peter bowed his head at me sharply before leaping off the deck and walking into the forest with Charlotte.

"Jay?" He held up a finger, signalling he needed a moment. I waited, as patiently as I could, but frustration won out in my emotional battle.

"I know Sugar." He murmured. "I have to go to Mexico." He breathed out.

"What?"

"I have to go to Mexico and see Maria." He paused for a moment. "I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Wait. You think you're going to go and visit your crazy ass sire and leave me here knitting or something? Think again Major."

"Bella." He sighed in exasperation. "It's going to be dangerous." He was not helping his case for leaving me behind at all. "I don't want to have to worry about you getting yourself into a bad situation." And in that instant I saw red.

"I'm not a fucking human anymore Jasper. I don't need you protecting me from the world and all the big bad vampires it holds. I can take care of myself! In case you'd forgotten I have this nifty little power that keeps me out of harm's way!" I poked his chest with my pointer finger, hard. "So don't you dare think that I'm going to stay here while you, Peter and Charlotte all go strolling back to Maria. Don't you dare think that I'm going to sit around here hoping that you'll come back one day. I won't do it Jasper! I won't! Not again. I can't." My knees buckled under a wave of fear, a fear of losing him that was so strong it crippled us both.

"Darlin', please." He whispered as he fought against my emotions.

"I'm going." I choked out as I tried to reign in my terror.

"Yes Colonel." He nodded, finally overcoming the feelings swirling around us and wrapping me in his arms.

Later that night we all gathered for a family meeting. Carlisle sat at the head of the table with Esme at his right hand, the rest of us were gathered higgledy piggledy around the room, some of us sat down, others standing.

"Jasper, you said you had something you wanted to tell us?" Carlisle said once we'd all settled down. Seriously it really did feel like we lived in a house with eight teenagers at times, and that number was about to be added to when Edward finally went to help Ethan move in.

"Maria left me a note today." He was calm as he spoke, but everyone burst into questioning, everyone except our parents. I ignored the questions, focusing instead on Jasper's calm which was filtering through me constantly, thanks to his hands resting on my shoulders as he stood behind my chair, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on my shoulder blades.

"I see." Carlisle said quietly when Emmett, the last of us still talking, finally shut up.

"It's time for me to go see her." Something passed between Carlisle and Jasper, an annoyingly silent conversation, as understanding dawned on our patriarchs face.

"Of course. Will Peter and Charlotte be joining you?"

"They will."

"Well, we'll make sure Bella is safe while you're gone." Edward chimed in and I felt my hands turn into fists. I was determined not to dredge up the past, Jasper and I had spent all afternoon doing that. He had been assuring me he'd never intended to make me think he was leaving me.

"I'm going too Edward." I glanced at Carlisle and Esme. "I have to. I can't stay here while Jay's all the way in Mexico with that 'skank'." Emmett laughed softly at my choice of words but I didn't the reprimanding look Esme gave me, or the amused smirk on Carlisle's lips.

"Bella, you can't go. It's dangerous down there. You don't know –"

"I know a lot more than you think I do Edward. And I'm going, besides, you have your hottie boyfriend moving in, he should keep you occupied." I smirked and felt Jaspers mirth brush along my arms.

"When are you leaving?" Esme asked.

"Tonight." Jasper replied in a firm tone, making it clear no one was to dispute it. No one did as the four of us left the room. We'd all packed earlier and decided we were going to take Jasper's car to the airport and he'd already ordered the rental for when we landed.

We all said our goodbyes and told the family we'd see them soon. Then we were in the car and off to the airport, this was going to be my biggest test, and had been a major point of discussion all afternoon. Jasper had been sure I'd be fine, after all they'd all come home smelling of human at some point over the last few weeks, and I had barely reacted since the first issue. Peter and Charlotte had agreed that I'd be fine, and even if I was tempted there were three vampires who had a hell of a lot of experience controlling newborns, and Jasper could drop me in a moment with a good dose of lethargy. I however hadn't wanted to chance it and had wanted to drive there, that would apparently have taken too long for their liking.

I hovered outside the doors to the airport, the smell of humans wafting around me but it wasn't too bad in the open air, the scent was really weak. Jasper had a firm arm wound around my waist, holding me tightly against him with Peter on my other side and Charlotte just in front of us. The doors opened and I was hit with an intense need for whatever was causing that delicious smell, I clung onto Jaspers shirt, trying to block out the bloodlust. I felt calming waves sliding over me and they soothed my body but not my mind.

We walked forward, my steps strained but appeared normal to the outside world. Charlotte got us checked in and then we wound our way to the departure lounge. There were people everywhere. I hadn't seen people since my change it was strange how different they seemed to me. Each once radiating their own scent, and each walking to an individual pulse. I closed my eyes against the images I had of draining every single one of them dry, and Peter and Jasper moved me to a seat in a corner, one of them on each side of me while Charlotte strolled over to the bookstore nearby.

"Sugar, look at me." Jasper whispered, trying to turn my head by my chin to stop me staring at the pulse point of an old woman sat opposite us. I was dealing with the scent of humans now, it had become a background fact of my situation, yes it made my throat burn but it was easier to ignore. Watching them however, it was tantalising, watching the blood rushing under their skin, watching their pulse pound in their necks, begging for me.

I closed my eyes tight, allowing Jay to turn my head towards him before I opened them again. His bright gold eyes were fixed on mine, his scent enveloping me, soothing the incessant ache in my throat. I could smell peter behind me, Charlotte over in the bookstore, but there was another scent here, another vampire. I frowned at Jasper, pushing my curiosity and confusion out to him.

"That's why I wanted you to look at me." He smirked. "We tried talking to you but you weren't hearin' us Darlin'. Anyway, there's nothing to worry about, it's just a nomad, he's talking to Charlotte right now." I nodded glad that there wasn't an extra worry on this journey but definitely in need of a distraction.

"Kiss me Major." I growled at him. He followed my command quickly, kissing me passionately but pulling away too quickly for my liking. He must have felt my aggravation and disappointment because he laughed softly.

"We can't get carried away here Bella." He motioned to the area and people around us, "Besides, think of poor Peter."

"Poor Peter my ass!" I scoffed. "Are you forgetting what I walked in on in the kitchen in Minnesota? His sparkly ass right in my face!" Jasper and Peter both laughed at the memory whilst I backhanded them both in the stomach.

I settled against Jasper for the remainder of our stay in the lounge before we were called to our gate. Once we had boarded I wasn't too surprised to see that _someone_ had bought out all of first class just for us. "Thank you Cowboy." I whispered in Jay's ear as we settled ourselves into our seats. We each had a 'cocoon', which included a lie-flat seat, a TV, fold out table and a footrest, but the best thing was they were paired up with walls up around the edge of the pair with a gap in the middle of the wall where our feet would be for getting out.

I could smell the passengers in coach, I could hear them as well, but somehow I forgot all about them as Jasper whispered all the things he was going to do to me as we joined the mile high club, as the plane took off. A small groan escaped my lips as he spoke, I was aching for him to follow through on his words but the stewardess chose that moment to interrupt us.

"Welcome on board sir, is there anything I can get for you?" Her fake tits, bleach blonde hair and plastic smile really pissed me off, her saving grace was that she'd drenched herself in enough rotten perfume that I couldn't make out the smell of her blood. She smelt like rotten flowers, sickly sweet but with a nasty undercurrent.

"No, thank you." Jasper waved her away with barely a glance at her making me smile as she glared briefly at me.

"Jealousy, anger, disgust, possessiveness and lust. An interesting cocktail Sugar."

"Not really, you know I can get jealous and possessive, remember the first time Char hugged you in front of me? And I was human then." I laughed softly. "I was angry because she ignored my very existence while she tried to force her fake boobs into your face. Disgusted, well fake boobs aside, she smelt rank. And if I have to explain the lust..." I trailed off, nipping his earlobe quickly before settling back into my seat. Jay glanced at me, but let me be as he took out a book and started reading, I decided to join him in his past time and took out my own novel.

After about an hour Charlotte wandered over to us, she stole my book from my hands and asked Jasper if he was going to get his mojo on because Peter was getting antsy. I frowned for a moment before Charlotte explained that Peter didn't like flying. I knelt up in my seat to look over at my brother.

"Aw, is Petey scared of flying?" I teased, pouting at him slightly.

"Fuck off." He grumbled, turning to face Charlotte's empty chair in an effort to ignore me. I shrugged at sat back down. Once Char had gone back to her seat I glanced at Jasper, he looked like he was reading but I knew better, his gaze was fixed just above the book at the spaces where the Stewardesses were sat. I followed his gaze and noticed that they were all dropping off into a deep sleep. Without making a sound I slipped out of my seat and moved to straddle Jasper's lap, peeling the book from his hands.

Jaspers now free hands slid up my thighs and came to rest on my hips, squeezing them gently as I turned his book over in my hands. I read the blurb quickly. It was a western, how predictable. Jasper owned a lot of books, but mostly they were textbooks, or biographies about the civil war, an enthusiasm I could understand, but the few fiction books he owned were all westerns. I tossed the book onto my seat before looking at the gorgeous man under me.

"A western Jay? Really? You do know that variety is the spice of life, right?" I smirked, shifting slightly in his lap, bringing my core into contact with his rock hard dick. His hands gripped my hips harder holding me still, not letting me move to find the friction I wanted.

"You're all the variety I need Sugar." He whispered against my neck as he trailed kisses over the skin exposed by my vest top. His tongue lapped at my collarbones before his teeth grazed over them. My hands rested on his shoulders torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away slightly so I could have access to his talented mouth. After a couple more minutes he looked up at me.

My lips were instantly on his while my hands slid down his chest, reaching the top of his jeans and making quick work of the button and zipper. One of his hands had left my hip, trailing under the material of my short denim skirt. Yes, I might have had ideas about joining the mile high club before we set off.

His fingers trailed over the skin of my inner thigh, getting closer to where I needed him with every pass. A low whine escaped my throat.

"Jasper." I growled as he chuckled darkly, raking my nails over the growing bulge in his boxers. He hissed sharply, his hand ripping my underwear from me. I swiftly had him out of his boxers and in my hand as I pumped him slowly. His fingers were teasing my folds, circling my entrance slowly before moving to brush my clit, never with enough pressure to do more than make me need some friction even more.

I quickly lost my patients and jerked his hand away from me before impaling myself quickly on his cock. We both growled at the feeling as he stretched me, I paused for a moment enjoying the feeling of fullness, and then I started gently rocking over him as our mouths met.

What had started as playful had turned into something deeper, an affirmation that we were both there, that we were together, no matter what. We moved slowly together, rocking in time with each other as our tongues danced together. It took us two hours and four orgasms before we could finally separate ourselves. I climbed off him reluctantly, missing the feeling of him. Grabbing my hand luggage I darted into the toilets while he put himself back in his pants, and pocketed my shredded underwear.

When I emerged I had changed out of my skirt into a pair of jeans which looked like they'd been painted on, they were dark and worked brilliantly with the white vest top I was wearing. I had also pulled on a black and white plaid shirt, buttoning a couple of the middle buttons. Jasper groaned as I sat down, crossing my legs at the knee before fastening my seatbelt seconds before the light came on and the captain announced we were getting ready to land.

Slowly Jasper pulled his gift back from the stewardesses, who all came to, while us four vampires pretended to have drifted to sleep, easing their guilt about their neglect of us. One by one they came to wake us, telling us of the imminent landing. Tits McGee took it upon herself to stroke Jasper's arm in her attempt to wake him and I couldn't stop the possessive growl, though I was sure she couldn't hear me, I saw his mouth twitch into a smirk briefly. Sitting up and yawning I looked at Tits McGee and smiled sleepily.

"I'll make sure he wakes up." I said sweetly, she looked at me, slightly shocked, as if she hadn't registered my existence in her haste to touch my man. "There's a trick to it." She nodded dumbly before moving away from us. Once she was out of sight I leant over and pinched Jaspers nipple a lot harder than was pleasurable. He half squeaked, half yelped and bolted upright.

"Fuck Bella! That hurt!" I laughed and told him to put his seatbelt on, my laughs being joined by Peter and Char's while Jay grumbled and fastened his seatbelt while rubbing his sore nipple gently.

We had soon landed Chihuahua, Mexico and gathered our luggage. Jasper went to collect the rental while we stood outside. I was relishing the smell of human free air. Closing my eyes and letting myself enjoy it to the full, I was also grateful that it was still dark here. As bad as my geography might have been, I knew Mexico tended to be a lot sunnier than Forks.

We were driving out to Maria's home; Jasper said it wouldn't take an hour to get there. How he knew where she was had bugged me greatly until he told me that he'd kept track of her ever since he left her, know thine enemy and all that.

A black Bentley pulled up in front of Charlotte, Peter and myself and I rolled my eyes.

"Decide against being inconspicuous?" I asked a smirking Jasper as I slid into the passenger seat, he simply shrugged and we pulled away once Peter had loaded our luggage into the trunk. Char and Peter were quiet as we drove, and I could feel the tension in the car, not all of it was my own.

I was nervous about meeting Jasper's ex, and not only was she his ex she was his sire, his creator. Sure she'd treated him like a toy, winding him up and letting him go kill thousands of newborns, but I knew somewhere inside him, way down deep, he still felt something warm towards her. And that was what bothered me the most as we pulled up in front of a large white washed house.

A raven haired beauty sauntered out of the front door, her arms wide. "Ah, my children have come home." She smiled at Peter and Charlotte, both of whom stayed impassive as they stood slightly behind Jasper and I. Jasper squeezed my hand gently as Maria turned her eyes on him. "My Major." She sighed her voice wistful and longing. "Who's your little friend?"


	13. Maria

**AN: Alright, so not many of you seem to like Maria so far. I doubt your opinions will improve with this chapter. So, we get to see a little more of Maria and the Major. And I think this is the point in the story where Bella gets a little OoC, but hopefully I made it fit in with the character I had developed. Let me know what you think because I'm just rambling now.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns all, still. But I'm borrowing her Major in cowboy boots and a Stetson! *Drool*<strong>

Jasper growled lowly beside me tugging me a little closer to his side as Maria spoke, but the comment which she addressed to me did not go over too well with either of us. Little friend, indeed!

"Maria, this is my mate, Bella." His tone was hard and icy, and not one I had heard before, it scared me a little even though it wasn't directed at me.

"What happened to the psychic? Did you tire of her?" Maria asked in a sing song voice as she strolled towards us. She stopped just out of arms reach and her eyes traced over me. I stood beside Jasper, gripping his hand but showing no other sign of discomfort, and I could feel his pride.

"Be careful young one, my Major does get tired easily. You won't hold his attention long, even if you are a pretty little thing." She smiled sweetly at me. I let her words wash over me for a moment before I spoke.

"Just because you couldn't keep his attention doesn't mean no one can." I smiled sweetly, Peter and Char tried to cover their laughs behind me.

"Watch your tongue child." Maria said icily, losing her welcoming persona. "You don't know anything about him." I laughed at that comment, unable to help myself.

"Maria, I'd suggest you watch your words around my mate." Jasper said his voice still cold and hard as he looked at her, his eyes were steely but still golden. She waved him off and turned to Peter and Charlotte, looking them over once before giving a satisfied nod.

"Come, I'll show you to your accommodations, then we have a lovely meal prepared." She smirked the last part at Jasper who didn't react. I tried not to, but my grip tightened on Jaspers hand at what her words implied. She led the way into her home; it was decorated the same way throughout, plain light coloured walls with terracotta details. It was lovely, if not a little boring.

Peter and Charlotte were directed into one room while we, well Jasper was shown to one opposite them. "I suppose I could have another room made up for your _mate_." Maria sneered, looking at me.

"That won't be necessary." Was Jaspers curt reply as he walked into the room, pulling me gently after him and shutting the door.

"Dinner will be served in an hour Major." Maria called through the door before leaving us be.

"I don't like her." I sighed petulantly as I fell onto the bed, which was also dressed in white.

"Neither do I Sugar." Jay said softly, sitting beside my head, his fingers playing with my hair.

"Little friend." I scoffed making Jasper chuckle. "Can you say 'jealous ex'?" I rolled my eyes, keeping my eyes fixed on the ceiling and trying to ignore my dread at the thought of 'dinner'.

"Talk to me Bella." Jasper whispered quietly as he shifted up the bed until he was directly behind me, his legs parted. I sat up and shuffled backwards into his waiting embrace.

"I'm fine, just a little concerned about 'dinner'." I sighed, my fingers tracing patterns over the backs of his hands which were resting on my stomach.

"We don't have to go." I scoffed. "Seriously Darlin', I can tell her we decline her invitation."

"That would be rude." I mumbled, leaning my head back on his shoulder. "Besides Pete and Char will probably enjoy the spread." Jasper laughed at that.

"They won't eat without us. They aren't her newborns anymore, and she knows better than to press the point. This whole dinner façade is for me."

"For you?" He nodded, pressing a kiss to my neck, nipping it slightly.

"She wants me to change my diet. She knows we're not as strong surviving on a diet of animals compared to human blood." He breathed against my skin, feathering my neck with light tender kisses.

"Do you want to change?" I whispered, almost losing my train of thought thanks to his talented lips as he sucked gently on the sensitive spot behind my ear.

"I won't deny that it's tempting Bella. Nothing compares to the taste of human blood, and nothing satisfies our thirst like it either."

"I wouldn't mind if you did you know." I muttered though the words were true; I wouldn't blame Jasper for choosing to feed off of our natural food source.

"I made the decision a long time ago not to feed off humans Sugar."

"Yeah, but that was different, that was for Alice, for Carlisle. Sure you didn't want to feel their pain but you still did it for Alice."

"I did it for me Darlin', I couldn't keep feeding from humans and feeling their pain and terror. It was driving me insane. Alice saved me from that; she showed me another way."

"So, what if you couldn't feel them? If you could feed from humans without feeling them, would you?" I asked, pulling my head up and shifting so I was knelt between his legs, our eyes level.

"I might." Was his response. "Especially in this situation, it would be beneficial to be at full strength." I thought for a moment before nodding.

"Guess we should get ready for dinner then." I sighed sliding off the bed and wandering over to our suitcase which had been brought up by one of Maria's lackeys. I rummaged around for a moment before finding a fresh pair of jeans and an emerald green corset top with capped sleeves. I vanished into the bathroom to change while I thought over a few things.

When I came out Jasper had changed into a white button down, leaving the top couple of buttons undone, and had on a pair of light blue jeans, along with my favourite piece of his wardrobe, his cowboy boots. Nothing on this earth was sexier than Jasper in his cowboy boots and his Stetson, though he had left the hat at home for now.

"Ready Major?"

"Always Colonel." He smirked at me as his eyes travelled over my body, they darkened a little, but he snapped himself out of it as a knock sounded on our door.

"Come on lovebirds. Major, you can eat your dessert later." Peter called from the other side.

"Can't we, like, gag him?" I laughed as I took Jay's hand and led him out of the room where we were faced with Peter, in an outfit similar to Jaspers, and Char in the same outfit as me except her top was a deep purple. We hadn't planned this - much. I smirked at Char as we passed them and made our way downstairs to the dining room.

The room had white walls like all the others but instead of having a table and chairs held a selection of plush sofas and armchairs, in various shades of beige. Each one having a couple of terracotta throw pillows, I was noticing a theme in Maria's home decor skills. Find a colour scheme you like and stick to it like a fly to shit.

Maria was already sprawled out on one of the couches as she beckoned us into the room, waving a hand at the furniture. "Take a seat; you must be hungry after your journey." She purred, her gaze fixed on Jasper as her hand came to rest on the seat beside her. Expertly Jasper manoeuvred us to the couch opposite Maria, whilst Peter and charlotte took the one beside us. I don't think any of us missed her pout at being so blatantly rejected.

She recovered quickly.

"Well, Major, it seems like this new friend of yours follows the same diet as the rest of the Cullens. It must be tiresome trying to keep her happy by going along with Carlisle's harebrained idea." Jasper said nothing. "I thought you might enjoy some of your old favourites now that you've come home." I bit back a growl as she molested him with her eyes.

As she'd spoke one of her minion had led in a row of seven human girls, the youngest was around seventeen while the eldest wasn't more than twenty five. All of them were blonde, with sun kissed skin, but obviously not local. They were all terrified; I could smell the adrenaline in their blood and could feel the venom pool in my mouth as I did something only Char, Edward and I knew I could do. Concentrating on the tight ball of energy in my mind I opened it out and forced it to cover myself and Jasper. We all knew I was a mental shield and we'd worked on expanding that, but what Jasper didn't know was that I also had another shield, it wasn't physical, but it did stop some physical gifts, like Alice and Jasper's.

He glanced at me briefly, confusion on his face but I simply smiled at him, all too aware of Maria's attention being focused on us. "Enjoy." I whispered, resting my palm against his cheek for a moment. I had always known that Jasper didn't agree with Carlisle's ideas about human life. Humans were a food source, first and foremost. Even I had been in that category at the beginning of my interactions with the Cullens in Jaspers mind. It had taken a while for him to think of me as anything else. The final change came about when we mated. Then I was simply waiting to be changed. I was no longer food. He had explained all this to me before my change. Telling me the only reason he abstained from humans was because he couldn't bear feeling their emotions as they died.

I wasn't sure what my thoughts truly were. I agreed with Carlisle to an extent, but then my rationale came into play stating that if humans ate animals, placed themselves higher up on the food chain, then why couldn't we eat humans? It was confusing, but for the sake of family harmony I had gone with the rest of the Cullens. Jasper knew this too, we had discussed it after one of our hunts.

As soon as Jasper realised what I'd done he smiled gratefully at me before rising out of his seat and wandering up to the line of girls. My compassion made me feel sorry for them, but a part of my brain was comparing them to lobsters at seafood restaurants where you pick the one you want to eat while it's still in the tank, alive.

I watched with fascination as he prowled up and down the line, taking time to choose his meal. All of his muscles rippled under the fabric of his shirt, tantalising and teasing. I knew I wasn't alone in my ogling and suddenly the need to stake my claim rose within me. I knew Jasper felt it when he turned to me with a smirk and held his hand out to me; I was after all the only person he could feel while under my shield. I rose from my seat and Peter smiled happily at me as I passed him, sliding my hand into my mate's.

He brought me to his side without a word before running his fingers almost lovingly over one of the girls' faces, she looked to be about twenty, give or take a year and she smelled delectable. We moved as one, each of us moving to either side of her neck before piercing her skin with our teeth. It was like a hot knife through butter.

Then the blood hit my tongue and I was in heaven. It was sweet, rich and so full of life. The adrenaline made it even tastier I was sure, and I greedily pulled mouthful after mouthful of the red liquid into my mouth, feeling it soothe the ache in my throat better than anything else ever had. As we drank I felt Jaspers hand wind into my hair, and once the girl had given us everything she could we dropped her between us.

Our eyes lock together and Jasper pulled me to him, our bodies pressed firmly together as his lips devoured my own. His tongue seeking out any remains of blood in my mouth as mine did the same to him. Eventually our kiss slowed and with a final chaste peck and a smirk I withdrew my shield from my mate and we returned to our seat.

I had been completely oblivious to Peter and Char feeding alongside us, but sure enough there were three lifeless bodies left behind as the remaining girls were led away. I felt different. Stronger. More in control. More focused. I was revelling in the feeling when Maria burst my happy bubble.

"Point taken, Major." She huffed, folding her arms over her chest in a rather childish show of petulance whilst I happily rested against Jaspers side. "I would like to go over what is required of you during your stay."

"In the morning Maria." Jasper sighed, obviously as disgruntled by her behaviour as I was. And he was definitely as frustrated as I was, I could tell without looking at him by the way his fingers rhythmically squeezed and stroked my side where my top and pants didn't quite meet due to my position.

"Very well, I shall expect to see you and your Captain at eight."

This was the moment Peter chose to speak up.

"What about the Colonel?"His voice was full of mischief and his eyes were sparkling with joy.

"Colonel?" Maria arched a delicate eyebrow.

"Yes ma'am. The Major's found a Colonel, and it just wouldn't be right to meet without them." Maria looked a little ruffled for a moment before she composed herself.

"Very well, Major, your Captain and _Colonel_ may accompany you to my drawing room at eight tomorrow morning. I trust you remember where that is?"

"Of course Maria, now if you'll excuse us." Without another word he stood up and escorted me out of the dining room, followed by a giggling Peter and a spluttering Charlotte as we returned to our rooms.

"Peter." Jasper barked, calling him into our room after us.

"Major." I let go of Jasper's hand and sat on the edge of the bed, being joined by Charlotte while Jasper paced the floor in front of us, facing Peter. He had closed the door behind himself and was now stood at ease, his hands behind his back and his head lowered, all traces of jocularity wiped off his face.

"Did you find that amusing?" I recognised my mates' voice, the rough, controlled questioning of the Major. It was nice to know he'd joined us, comforting somehow.

"A little, sir." Peter mumbled to the floor. Jasper continued to pace, and I could see Peter begin to shake in fear. For goodness sake, it wasn't like he'd done anything which put me in a compromising position with Maria. In fact he's helped as far as I was concerned.

Just as I started to stand up Charlotte rested a hand on my arm shaking her head slightly, a look of worry in her eyes. I rolled my eyes and shrugged her hand off, if there was one thing I was certain of it was that no matter what Jasper would never hurt me. Major or not.

"Jay?" I questioned as I moved into the way of his pacing bringing one of his runs short. He looked up from his track on the floor and growled deeply at me. My hands rested on my hips as I cocked my head to one side and arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to do it again. He took a deep breath and his black eyes stayed locked on mine while a little of their colour came back, though they were an orange hue now. I guessed mine would look the same.

"Are you going to leave Peter alone?" My answer was peter falling to his knees his body wracked with fear.

"Jasper, so help me if you don't let him up now." I waited a moment; no change except Peter had managed to straighten his back, his jaw clenched against the screams I know he wanted to release.

"Fine." I sighed, stepping out of Jaspers way and in between him and Peter being brought to my knees instantly by the wave of fear and pain Jasper had directed at his brother.

It felt like an eternity of being lost in pain and anguish, terrified of the feelings coursing through me but I couldn't stop them. I had locked my jaw, and now the fear kept it shut, my body collapsing under the weight of the emotions. A few seconds later it all vanished. And I looked up from my foetal position on the floor into the familiar caring eyes of my mate.

"Never again." He warned me, making me laugh weakly.

"Every time." I breathed as I got to my feet glancing at Peter who looked angry, but I wasn't sure who it was aimed at.

As soon as I was upright though Charlotte was on me. Hugging me tightly and speaking so quickly I couldn't understand what she was saying, it sounded like she was humming continuously. "Char, take your husband to your room. I'll see you in the morning." I said softly, prying her off me and handing her to her mate and watching them leave the room before turning to my own.

"As for you Jasper Timothy Whitlock, you have some explainin' to do."

To give him his due, Jasper did have the decency to look apologetic.


	14. Colonel

**AN: So, I know I have vanished for a while, RL was kicking my butt, but we're back on track again now with any luck. I promised this by Wednesday and it's only Monday so I think I did quite well, even if it is a little shorter than usual. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns all, my warped mind just likes twisting her creation. <strong>

Once I had shut the door I turned to look at Jasper. His face was an open book, it helped that he was also projecting a little. I could feel his remorse, shame and worry, and I allowed myself a soft smile at that.

I could still feel the human blood running through my system, and the inherent strength that brought with it. It wasn't simply my physical strength that had improved, but also my mental and emotional strength. I felt much more confident within myself than I ever had, and it showed as I straightened my back and held my head high as I looked at my mate.

"Major." His head dropped a little in submission.

"Colonel." His voice was low and respectful.

"Why?" I walked closer to him, until he was in arms reach. I needed to be close to him, but I knew my resolve would fail if I touched him. I waited a moment for him to respond.

"He involved you."

"What?" Any resolve I had melted away at the sound of his voice, he was defeated almost, but I could hear the worry.

"Peter. He involved you in this thing with Maria. It wasn't supposed to happen, you were supposed to be safe, to be with me but out of the line of fire. She was supposed to think of you as nothing more than my mate, someone subservient to me."

"Subservient?" I scoffed slightly.

"It's our nature Sugar, as much as it may trouble your new world sensibilities, males dominate the females. Have you not noticed it? How Esme never questions Carlisle? How when Emmett is serious Rosalie does as she's told? You did it with Edward, without thought, you bowed to his whims, to his control." There was an edge of bitterness at the mention of Edward and I bit back a growl of annoyance. "I never wanted to control you, to have you bend to my will. Never. You are your own person, and I love that person more than anything. Trust me on that." His gaze met mine and I nodded, sending him my understanding, trust and love.

"But here, with Maria, here you were meant to been seen as obeying me, and until Peter opened his big mouth you were playing the part without realising it. You let me lead the conversations, direct your movements in front of her. Even whilst we fed you displayed the right behaviour for her to believe you were simply there to please me, that you had no mind of your own." He took a breath and I reached out for his hand, stepping closer until I could feel his breath wash over my face.

"Then he had to go and tell her about The Colonel. You might not believe me when I say this but you truly are The Colonel. It started as a joke, but you grew into the role as a human and even more so since your change. You know when to take charge and when to stand by and watch, you can take control of a situation without saying a word, and command respect from those around you. Even Emmett respects you." I laughed softly.

"He does. He is your big brother, and will always tease and annoy you at home, but if we walked into a battle he'd follow your every order to the letter. As would I." I was a little shocked by all of this, but waited, letting him continue, it seemed important for him to get it all out.

"And now Maria will know that your important, more so than simply a mate. She'll use you. You'll become a means to an end, and the path we'll all have to take is one I never wanted for you." He pulled me into a hug, holding me so tightly it would've broken me had I been human.

"I never wanted you to have to come back here Jay. I never wanted you to have to go through this again. But you're different now. Stronger." I whispered, running my fingers through his hair.

"I'll come out of this just fine Darlin', it's you I worry about."

"Well, Major, you don't need to worry 'bout lil' 'ole me. I'll be just fine as long as I have you."

"You'll always have me Sugar. Forever. You'll get sick of me." He chuckled, kissing the top of my head.

"I'm already sick of you, I'll just have to find a way to deal with you hanging around." I teased, ruffling his hair before leaning up to kiss his lips gently. He growled slightly at my words but the sound was playful, and in a moment he'd tossed me onto the bed. I bounced a little before settling onto my back. He stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes travelling over my body. I smirked as I wriggled a little under the pretense of getting comfortable.

"Major," I purred, "I need you." There was no sense pretending, I needed him. I needed to show him that no matter what I would be here for him, that Maria was not going to separate us. No way. No how.

Jasper never did need telling twice. He lost his shirt as he crawled up the bed to hover over me, his muscles taught and sinewy under his skin, the very picture of a feral male. The sight of him above me made me rub my thighs together, trying to find some friction, he stopped my movements with a strong hand on one of my thighs, though he said nothing, his eyes spoke volumes.

His hand moved slowly up the outside of my leg to the edge of my shirt, tugging it up over my head slowly, before making shirt work of my jeans and underwear. No words were spoken between us as he thrust into me, his mouth covering mine whilst his hands explored my body. It was slow, sweet and desperate, and it honestly didn't take us long to reach our mutual climax. We held each other for a short while afterwards before I slid out of bed. I felt Jay's curiosity instead of him voicing it.

"I need to talk to Peter." I said simply, pulling on a pair of leggings and one of his t-shirts. He lolled back on the bed in acceptance. "I'll be back as quickly as possible." With that I left the room, banging on Peter and Charlotte's door, apparently interrupting their 'alone time', but I didn't care.

The door was opened by a ruffled looking Charlotte, clutching a sheet about her. "Sorry Char, but I need a word with your mate." She nodded and shuffled to one side, allowing me into the room but also forcing me to witness more of Peter than I ever wanted to see. "God, Pete, put some pants on!"

"Oh, you come into my room and then object to my state of undress?" He taunted as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

"That's pretty much how things work around here Peter." I smirked as I wandered to the window, absently noting how Char had shut the door but not moved any further into the room. Her head was bowed a little too while Peter, seemingly dominant when he looked at his mate seemed to shrink into himself a little as he turned to face me.

"So, you wanted to talk?" I didn't turn to look at him as he spoke, but I did fold my arms across my chest before speaking.

"You did something very stupid earlier Peter." My voice was cool, almost icy. "I don't care that you dragged me into this mess with Maria." I paused, turning on the spot to look at Peter, who dropped his eyes immediately from mine. "I don't care," I reiterated slowly, "but Jasper does."

"I know."

"And it's incredibly stupid to piss him off, know why?" I didn't wait for a response before continuing, "Because it's not only him you piss off in the end." In a fraction of a second I was in front of my brother, invading his personal space. "I'm not bothered about what sick game Maria is playing, I don't know all the details, and I honestly don't want to. I will play my part, and I'll play it well. But at the end of all this you and me will be having words. Do you understand me Captain?"

"Yes Colonel." His feet shuffled slightly as he spoke, I could tell he was warring with himself, his view of me as a female, and as the 'Colonel', weren't too compatible in his mind. Apparently though he managed to settle the debate himself and simply glanced up at me, regret showing in his eyes.

"Now, I'll leave you to your mate because I have to return to mine." I growled as I stepped around him and headed for the door, as I reached it I glanced at Charlotte, who hadn't moved at all. "Sorry about the intrusion Char." I smiled softly.

"Don't be. He needs to know there are consequences to his actions." She smiled brightly at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"We'll talk later sister dear, for you are truly evil." I laughed as I left the room, crossing the corridor and letting myself into my and Jaspers room. The sight that greeted me however was not one I was expecting, nor one I appreciated.

The bitch thought she was allowed in my room.

Thought she was allowed to touch my mate.

Thought I wasn't anything to worry about.

Fuck. Her.

My anger soared as my eyes fixed on Maria's hand which was retsing on Jasper's arm. She hadn't appeared to notice my arrival, but Jay had, and his eyes said more than his words could in that moment. They were black with anger, but the anger was not directed at me, that much I knew.

I growled quietly as I shut the door behind me, loudly. That caught the skanks attention.

"Ah, little one. I did warn you, the Major gets distracted easily." She purred at me with a smile, still touching what was mine.

"Jasper." I turned my gaze to his, my voice sounded pleading, and it was, I was pleading with him to let me just kill her, to end this whole thing and remove the only threat I'd ever felt with regards our relationship. I suppose Maria just figured I was pleading with him to stay with me. She even had the balls to laugh, her stupid, fucking, melodic bell chime of a laugh.

"He's always been my Major Isabella, he just lost his way for a while. He's home now though and has no need for you."

"I'm not yours Maria, and I never was." Jasper growled, finally wrenching himself away from her touch as he stepped closer to me. Blocking my path to Maria in the process. "I have warned you about your behaviour towards my mate, don't make me repeat myself." This seemed to unsettle the bitch, and made me smile internally.

"You'll see Major. You might be able to fool yourself for a while, but you'll see that we were meant to be together. We make such a good team. You know we do. Remember San Antonio?" She sighed fondly before gliding out of the room. Not that I missed the filthy look that she threw my way. Oh she was not going to like my appearance at the meeting tomorrow. Or the fact that both _her _Major and Captain would listen to me above her.

I was going to have so much fun pissing her the fuck off.

"Isabella. Play nicely." Jasper muttered from his position in front of me.

"You spoil all of my fun." I grumbled making him laugh whilst nodding in acknowledgement.

"So, you and Peter have a nice chat?"


	15. Realisation

**AN: I am SO sorry about this massive delay in updating. RL is a bitch! And I know this chappie is short, but I had to end it where it ends, it just seemed right. I also want to say a huge thank you to Mynxi for her rec of this story on her story, A True Mate's Heart, she's amazing, and if you haven't checked her stuff out yet you should as soon as you've R&R'd this chapter. =] Alright, without further ado I will leave you to the story.  
>Disclaimer: SM owns all, I just like being a puppeteer with her characters. <strong>

"I don't want to talk about Peter, Jay." I growled stepping around my mate and pulling the bedding off the bed, stripping it bare.

"What're you doing Darlin'?" Jasper sighed from behind me.

"I'm clearing this room of that bitch." I replied throwing the final pillow to the floor. "Oh yeah, just what _was_ Maria doing in here anyway?" OK, I was feeling insecure and childish, but that really wasn't the point right now, she had been here with my mate, _touching_ him.

"She was trying to _convince_ me to go back to her." Jasper explained coolly, presumably picking up on my typically newborn emotional climate which was oscillating wildly between my desire to reclaim my mate and the desire to find Maria and rip her into tiny little pieces. The latter seemed like the most fun at this moment in time. "Calm down Sugar."

"Has saying 'calm down', ever worked Jasper?" I snarked; glancing at him before turning back to the bare mattress and contemplating throwing it out of the window.

"Occasionally." He sighed coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I pulled away from him, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"You need to shower before you come anywhere near me, her scent is all over you, it's sickening." With a dutiful nod he turned away from me and headed into the bathroom. I waited until I heard him step under the water before I tossed the mattress off the bed. It might not have been out of the window but it was better than nothing and alleviated some of my anger.

Four minutes sixteen seconds later Jasper emerged back in the bedroom, slightly damp but fully dressed in a new outfit. "Feelin' better Darlin'?"

"No. Can't I just set fire to this whole place? That'd make me feel better." I pouted from my seat in the armchair beside the bed.

"'Fraid not Sug." He chuckled perching on the edge of the bed.

"Am I being irrational?"

"Yes."

"Do you at least find it mildly cute?"

"It's incredibly cute Bella. And it's refreshing to see you act your age for once. It's a little unnerving to see you so in control all the time."

"You knew I was abnormal when we started this thing Jay, you can't back out now." My insecurity was back again.

"No one's backing out. I'm in this way over my head and in this forever."

"Good." I smiled softly. "Now some rationality has returned to my brain can we talk about this meeting we have to attend?"

"Sure thing. What specifically did you want to talk about?"

"Just how pissed is the megawhore going to be when she realises I'm the Colonel Peter told her about?" I asked with a feigned innocent curiosity, making Jasper chuckle.

"Incredibly. You're going to shatter what little belief she still has that we're still loyal to her."

"Yay." I grinned.

"Anything else?"

"Nope. I'll follow your lead for the rest of it, for the most part."

"Alright, now can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away."

"Did you ever think I might still have feelings for Maria?"

"Honestly? I was afraid you did, but I never really believed that you did. Does that make sense? I felt like I could've been walking into my own worst nightmare, but I knew, somewhere deep inside, that I never was." Jasper nodded, kissing my forehead lightly.

"It makes sense, in it's own special 'Bella' kind of way. But you know I only love you right?"

"Of course I do, doofus. Doesn't stop the occasional bout of insecurity, but it helps shoo it away."

"Good." We didn't say much after that, we just sat and watched the morning light creep into the bedroom, climbing the walls and making the stark white soften into a haze of yellow, orange and pink. It was glorious, but much to short. Sooner than I liked we had to get ready to face Maria and her meeting.

Jasper had decided to wear all black, so black shirt, black jeans, black boots. And damn did he look good, though he didn't appreciate it when I told him he'd be beating Edward on the emo front if he just wore a littl ebit of eyeliner.

I settled on some grey skinny jeans, a blue corset top with white detailing and a pair of brown knee high cowboy boots. We met Peter and Charlotte in the hallway, Pete didn't meet my eyes while Charlotte was grinning at me with a gleam in her eyes.

"Let's get this over with." I growled, feeling the tension in the corridor without even being an empath, and it was setting me on edge. I started down the stairs, and noticed a few of the things Jasper had mentioned when he'd told me how I was the Colonel. I held my head high, and felt a sense of strength and determination flowing through me. I wasn't the scared little girl Edward had left in the forest anymore, I was a vampire, mated to the God of War, and every bit worthy to stand beside him. And with that knowledge I walked into Maria's drawing room, followed by Jasper, Peter and Charlotte.

I noted the sense of pride emanating from Jasper, but ignored it for now. I had also noted the two lackeys Maria had stationed in the corner of the room, and the way she was frowning, presumably at my leading the group into the room. Jasper chose that moment to speak.

"Maria, may I introduce you to The Colonel." Maria shifted her eyes from me to Jasper, then back to me. Disbelief shining in her eyes.

"You can't be serious Jasper. This cow eyed little girl is no more a colonel than I am a common whore." I bit back a laugh.

"Well, I wouldn't say you were common, but whore? Sounds about right." I smirked at my mates sires.

"You...!" She leapt at me, not a wise move. I dodged her without thinking and grabbed her arm as she passed me, pulling her back flush to my front, one hand on her arm the other at her throat.

"That's not a nice way to treat your guest." I growled in her ear, my teeth in easy reach of her throat, and I was fighting every primal instinct I had to not rip it out. "Listen, and listen good. I am The Colonel, whether you like it or not. Jasper isn't _yours_. He hasn't been for a very long time. He's _my_ Major, and Peter is Charlotte's mate, and _my_ Captain. We will help you in this effort of yours, but only because Jasper feels he owes it to you, once this is over, you will **never** contact us again. Understand?" I felt her swallow against my hand before nodding. "Good." I released her with a small shove, not wanting her near me any longer than necessary.

"Go Colonel!" Char called out from behind me, making me smile slightly as I turned to glance at her. I caught Jay's eye for a moment and felt a wave of love and pride wash over me, it was truly staggering, and I only just managed to remain on my feet.

Turning back to Maria I spoke again. "Now, shall we get started?"


	16. Preparations and Party

**AN: Ok, I know I suck, it's been almost three months, and I have no excuses except that I've been busy – RL and all that having well and truly beaten me recently. But I thought I'd give you this as a Christmas Present, and to thank you all for sticking with me. **

**Happy Holidays to you all, and if I don't see you before, Happy 2012!  
><strong> 

Maria straightened herself out and tried to regain some of her composure. I ignored her for the moment, finally taking in my surroundings and sparing a curious thought for the two 'guards' the Skank had stationed there. I was curious as to why they hadn't moved to protect their leader. I felt a slight wave of amusement flow through me as the 'guards' appeared to come to, as if they'd been dozing off in their corners, a small smile flitted across my face before the icy mask I had been wearing resumed. My Major was sneaky, and I loved it.

We dove straight in to planning what we were going to do over the coming week or so, depending on how quickly the Skanks minions could complete their tasks, I personally was hoping that they were a supremely organised and skilled group as I didn't want to be here any longer than was necessary, I had a sneaking suspicion however that they wouldn't be.

More than once I had to reel Peter in, he was letting himself get carried away, suggesting outlandish schemes which would never work, and in the end I had to send him out, and Char along with him. As he left however I had to smother a laugh, he was pouting like a toddler who'd had their favourite toy taken off them, but it served him right for not being sensible about this. Maria wasn't much better, she had very grand plans for herself, many of those Jay and I shot down, almost like we were tag teaming.

After several hours, hours in which the 'Eau de Whore' Maria insisted on wearing permeated everything around us, the air, our clothes, our hair, I felt dirty just breathing,, and desperately wanted to shower any trace of her off me. And off Jasper. An hour or so after the realisation that Jasper was going to smell like_ her_ I started becoming slightly less rational, and a little more like the newborn I really was. I became snappy and confrontational, not dramatically so, but enough that Jay wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me to his side as I argued with Maria about yet another ridiculous idea of hers. Apparently she hadn't noticed how close I was to just ripping her head off and being done with it.

Finally, the meeting came to an end and Jay and I escaped into the relatively fresh air of the hallway, I took a deep breath, trying to cleanse my lungs as well as calm myself down. Jay laughed softly, kissing my forehead and taking my hand, leading me back to our room. We said nothing until as we walked into our room, and both headed straight for the bathroom. Jay turned the shower on while I started to get undressed. Soon our clothes were in an intermingled pile on the floor and the steam surrounded us while the water beat down from the shower.

I leant against the tiled wall and closed my eyes letting the hot water run over my skin whilst inhaling the 'Jasper' laden steam, letting my mates scent run through me. Maria's stench having been cleared from our senses pretty quickly. And I did much prefer the new aroma wafting in the vapour. I twitched slightly as I felt a hand brush lightly across my cheek and I had to fight the instinctual urge to tense as I felt someone's skin brush against mine, logically I knew that it was just Jasper and that he wasn't going to hurt me – unless I asked him to – but being stuck in a room with Maria all day had put me on edge a little.

"Relax" Jay breathed in my ear as his fingers ghosted down the right side of my neck, following my shoulder and trailing down my arm before they entwined with mine. His right hand ran through my hair, teasing out a couple of knots which had formed through the day – not to self: don't continuously run hand through hair unless there is semi immediate access to a brush. I still didn't open my eyes. I remained encased in darkness, relishing the love I could feel swirling around us, mixing with the steam and creating a safe, moist, cocoon, blocking out the real world and all of its worries. "That's my girl." Jay crooned as I felt my muscles unclench and a soft slow breath leave me.

He brought our entwined hands up between our bodies until I felt his lips brush over my knuckles, and his breath fan out across my skin. Tingles shot through me, making my breath hitch ever so slightly. It may have only been twelve hours since we left our room but it felt like I had been without him for years. I could feel the need well up inside of me, the need to be close to him, to feel him everywhere, the need for us to just be us, not the Major and Colonel, not Jasper and Isabella. Just Bella and Jay.

"Hey, Sugar, calm down." Until he spoke I hadn't realised that my breaths had become shallow and irregular, nor had I noticed the feeling of drowning I was experiencing, like the steam had clawed its way into my lungs and was slowly suffocating me – even though I had no need of breath. My knees gave way beneath me and I collapsed to the floor, my fall slowed by Jasper guiding me down – even though I wouldn't have been hurt. He cradled me to him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me while I dry sobbed against his damp chest, the water still flowing us, drops rolling down my cheeks like tears. I started to feel a little better until…

_Water surging around me. I didn't know which way was up. All I knew was that I was going to die. Lost to the ocean. Alone. My head broke the water, I gasped for breath just before I was dragged back under. Warm arms. Warm lips. Warm voice. Jake._

I gasped as the images faded away. I couldn't make sense of them just yet, and didn't really want to. If I had considered myself alone then it was a memory from the Dark Days, when the Cullens had left. And I didn't want to remember that time. "Jay." I whispered.

"You alright Darlin'?" His voice was filled with worry.  
>"I need to get out."<br>"Let me just turn the water off, and we'll go chill in the…"  
>"No, out of here, out of this compound. I need people. Human people." I explained, looking up at Jay who looked back at me, his expression torn.<br>"I don't know Bella. You're control…"  
>"We need our strength Jay. We already made this choice. Didn't we?" He still didn't look convinced. So I went for the low blow. "I could always ask Peter to take me."<br>"I'll take you." He growled, lifting me from the floor a nanosecond later. If there's one thing I know about Jay it's that he doesn't hand over responsibility easily, and though I hate thinking of myself as a responsibility it worked out quite nicely for me this time. "Get dressed." He huffs, turning off the water and setting me on my feet. I don't question him for once, or get annoyed about him issuing orders, I'm too excited about getting out of this place, and maybe getting something – someone? – to eat.

Five minutes later I have donned a dark green wrap around dress which hits just above my knee, and a pair of matching heels. My hair is still damp, but I've left it down. Jay has pulled on jeans and a black shirt, which makes him look like a feast, but I reign myself in, I was the one who wanted to go out after all.

We walked hand in and out of our room and out to the front of the house where our hire car was parked. Jay slid into the driver's seat after opening my door for me. I switched on the stereo as we drove, knowing I had a while until Jasper would ready to talk. Apparently I didn't know him too well.

"You're a bad influence on me Miss Swan." He chuckled darkly, shaking his head a little as I turned to look at him.  
>"Lil' ole' me? Not a chance." I smirk, running a hand lightly up his thigh, squeezing it gently before letting go and returning my hand to my lap. "You know you want to party too, besides what a better way to spend our time away from the Skank?"<br>"Maybe Emmett is the ultimate bad influence." He sighed, a lighter note to his voice. "So, what kind of party did you have in mind?"  
>"Just a party. I need to let off some steam, and you know I love showing you off."<br>"Bella, are you sure you want to do this? You haven't really been around…."  
>"Buzz kill." I chime, interrupting him, but not caring, I don't need negativity right now. I just need some music.<p>

We pull up a half hour later in front of a bar, the music thrumming, making my bones vibrate, as I climb out of the car. The strobe lights are flashing and the bodies are heaving. I smile as I take Jay's arm and we step through the door.

The smell hits me like a tidal wave. Sweat floats on the air, covering everyone and everything in a fine sheen of salted water. The blood pounding through their veins, almost drowning out the music, each one of them on a slightly different beat, each one smelling different to the next, some more appetising than others. I know that this was the right decision. That all of my toing and froing about the decision of my diet has been pointless. These people eat so many creatures, breed and kill them for their own enjoyment, convinced they're the top of the food chain, that they reign supreme over the beasts. But I know the truth. None of them stand a chance against me, I am the ultimate predator, designed to lure them in, to capture their imaginations, feed their dreams before taking what I need from them. And, oh, do I need it. I feel Jay tense slightly beside me.

"Let's dance babe." I whisper, leading him to the middle of the floor, my arms round his neck as his hands guide my hips against his once we find a space.  
>"Whatever happened to my wall flower girlfriend?"<br>"She changed." I laugh, kissing his throat softly just below his ear, nipping the skin with my teeth as I pull away.  
>"She really has. Seen anyone you like Sugar?" He asks as he spins me so his chest is against my back, my hips still under his control as we grind slowly to the music. I nod, resting my head back on his shoulder, having spotted a couple at the edge of the dance floor, enjoying themselves, but keeping to themselves as well, apparently no one here would miss them. Jay follows my eye line and smiles, pressing his lips against the join between my neck and shoulder. "You're a natural Darlin'."<br>"Why thank you Major ." I chuckle, my really bad fake Texan accent making Jay laugh into my skin, sending delightful tingles shooting through me. After a few more minutes we start manoeuvring our way through the crowd and towards our prey. The thought almost makes me laugh, who'd have thought that one day, I – Isabella Swan – would be stalking prey in a nightclub? Not me.

We reach the couple and I feel Jay go to work when it appears that they are oblivious, seeing only each other, and while that's cute and all, my throat was scorching. He sent them waves of curiosity and bravery mixed with a little lust. It worked pretty quickly, we all got to talking, dancing as a four, pairing off in random combinations and generally enjoying ourselves – apparently. I knew I was going to regret the four shots of Tequila Jason had bought us, and the beer Jay hand handed me, but it would be worth it in the end. We left the club about two hours later, Jason and Tammy both drunk and Jay and me pretending to be just as wasted as we stumbled into an alleyway. As soon as we were out of sight however we shook off the drunken façade, still maintaining our friendliness as Jason beckoned me toward him, and Tammy coaxed Jay on.

I sashayed over to Jason, he was talking, but I wasn't listening, my attention was focused solely on the pulse point throbbing just underneath his skin, pulling me in as I imagined the taste and feel of his blood pouring into me, soothing my aching throat and rejuvenating me. Our hips were flush as I exerted a little pressure, pinning him between me and the brick wall, just as I started dropping kisses on the flesh of his throat – the skin warming and flushing, bringing the blood ever closer. I was in a haze, brought on by the smell of the blood, so close and yet so far away. I was teasing myself, relishing in my own power.

"Bella, didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with your food?" Jay sighed from the wall beside me. I spared him only a fleeting glance, noting the relaxed stance and bright red eyes, before slicing through to Joshua's jugular and feeling the blood spurt into my mouth, I swallowed greedily, holding him tighter against the wall as he started to struggle, realising too late that something was wrong, the adrenaline making his blood taste even sweeter than ever, sating a hunger I hadn't even known I'd had until it had been quenched.

When the last trickle had left his body I stepped back, letting the drained corpse drop to the floor with a thud and turned to look at Jasper, every nerve in my body screaming for him, strumming with borrowed life. The feeling was like no other and all I wanted was my mate. Apparently the feeling was mutual because before I could even breathe his name my back was against a wall, my legs wrapped around his waist and he was sheathed so deep inside me I could almost feel him in my throat. I exploded instantly, growling his name as he started pounding into me. Driving me further into the wall with every thrust, flakes of brick dust falling around us unnoticed. Our growls melding in the dark, echoing around us in the silence as we lost ourselves, gave ourselves up to pleasure.

My second climax was spectacular, and made even more so by Jasper biting my shoulder gently, not breaking the skin, but causing a little pain. Everything went white, a blinding, brilliant, all-encompassing white, none of my senses worked for the longest seconds I'd ever experienced before I was plummeted back into Jaspers arms. As e lowered my feet to the floor and rearranged himself I glanced behind me to see how much damage we'd done and laughed, there was a Jasper fist sized hole in the wall. "Get a little overwhelmed?" I smirked looking back at him, earning myself nothing more than a playful growl in return as we started heading back to the car.

The next morning's news sure was fun!


	17. Regrets and Reactions

**AN: Okay, I know I really suck at the update thing. I wanted to get this out to you sooner but I had a major block on how this chapter was going to get where it needed to. So sorry to you all, and thanks for your great reviews. **

**Another thing, not many of you seemed to thrilled by the occurrence in the last chapter, but I hope you forgive me after this one. Let me know.**

**Disclaimer: As always I own nothing, SM owns all, I'm just playing a convoluted game of chess with the pawns she created. **

"Jasper?"

There was a warm haze covering my vision, and all of my senses if I was being honest. I could smell Jasper beside me and feel his arm slung over my hips, it was peaceful, like when I was human and woke up to find him wrapped around me.

"Jasper!"

That was what was wrong, so very wrong. I felt groggy, like I'd just been woken up. Except we don't sleep, I tried to listen past the muggy layer covering my conscious brain, but I couldn't hear what I was desperate to, Jay's unnecessary but comforting breaths.

"I'm coming in."

I was vaguely aware of climbing off the bed and pulling on a dressing own before darting to the door in a move that felt too sluggish to be me. I opened the door and slid outside into the hallway.

"Keep your voice down Peter, you'll wake him up." I half yawned.

"Wake him?" I nodded sleepily, needing coffee so badly.

"I don't understand it, and my brain isn't working."

"You two achieved the impossible, you actually tired each other out! Hey Char!"

"Peter! Shut the fuck up. My head is killing me."

"Belly bob, you alright? You look pale, I mean more so than usual?"

"I don't feel good. I need to sit down."

Pete led me to his and Char's room and settled me on the bed. Char appeared in the bathroom doorway, her bright expression vanished as she saw me. "Bells?"

"Coffee. Just get me coffee." I knew the feeling I was experiencing, I had a hangover. A fucking hangover! What was I, fucking human? I felt a mug being pressed into my hands and inhaled deeply. God that coffee smelled good! I took a sip and spat it straight out, it tasted like ash! At least I knew I wasn't a human who'd just had a fucked up dream. But the smell had cleared my brain fog a little and a flood of memories rushed in. "Well shit!" I sighed.

An hour later the four of us were sat around the small table in Peter and Charlotte's room, Jasper was still a little groggy and my brain wasn't quite back up to its usual speed but we were getting there.

"I can't believe we did that."

"Believe it Sugar." Jasper griped from beside me, still resting his forehead on his palm, his face directed at the table.

"Jasper for fuck's sake, sit up and listen to her!"

"I am fucking listening to her Peter! So fuck off."

"This so isn't helping." Char sighed.

"If I find out that one of that skanks minions did this to us I will raze this place to the fucking ground, whether you feel some fucked up need to help or not." I spat at Jasper, neither of us were in a great mood, but I was definitely bitchier than he was. As per usual.

"Who the fuck else do you think it was Bella? Mother fucking Theresa? Of course it was one of her walking, talking dolls."

"Fine, Peter be a lamb and get me a match would ya?" I smiled sweetly at my brother before looking back at Jasper, who now deigned to look at me.

"Don't be fucking stupid." Was all he growled out.

"Fuck you Whitlock." I rolled my eyes as I stood up and made to leave the room, "Don't forget that match Peter." I called back before shutting and locking the door to mine and Jaspers room.

I made a beeline for the bathroom and turned on the shower, still all too aware of the excess of power coursing through my veins. It wasn't killing humans as such that bothered me. It was more which ones. Those two had been a young couple in love, probably with families who were looking for them, or at least would be soon. I didn't want to be like that. If I chose to feed off humans I wanted to do it the 'right' way, killing those undeserving of the life they had, like rapists, paedophiles, drug pushers, that kind of thing, not couples who reminded me so much of me and Jay when I was human.

I stepped under the hot water, trying to get it to wash away the memories of the night before, and to lift the fog that was still slightly present in my mind. I was going to kill the bitch, and I was going to enjoy it, every long agonising second.

"You should stop thinking like that Darlin'." Came the drawl from the bedroom.

"What part of a locked door didn't you understand?" I called back, ignoring his comment.

"The part where you thought it would stop me."

"Just leave me alone Jasper."

"Never going to happen babe, deal with it." I climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself before I walked out into the bedroom.

"Get out Jay. I need some time by myself."

"Feel free to occupy the bathroom as long as you like Sugar, but I ain't going nowhere."

"You know that's a double negative right?" Yeah, that was my witty comeback as I walked to the dresser and grabbed some jeans and a tank top before heading back into the bathroom. My emotions were ranging wildly between abhorrence, love, guilt, lust, anger and out and out rage.

"You're giving me whiplash." Jay called out from beyond the closed door.

"I'm a newborn." I sing songed back to him. I sat on the lid of the toilet for a couple of minutes trying to reign in my emotions, it didn't really work so I headed back into the bedroom where Jasper was sprawled across the bed.

"I don't know whether to kiss you, slap you or castrate you right now Whitlock." I growled as leant against the wall opposite him. He propped himself up on his elbows to look at me a smirk on his lips.

"I know which I'd rather."

"How can this not bother you?"

"It's not the first time and it probably won't be the last time. And it's not your first time either Sugar, remember that girl we shared?"

"This was the first time I _hunted_someone Jay! And you don't seem to think there's anything wrong."

"I'll admit as good as she tasted our choice of target wasn't ideal, but what's done is done."

"Who are you and what did you do with my Jasper?"

"I'm right here Bella. As well you know. What we did was normal vampire behaviour. I won't feel sorry for that. I do feel bad about how it's making you feel though."

"That's only part of why I'm feeling like this Jay. She manipulated us. And I really don't like that. I didn't like it when Edward tried it, or when Jake tried it, and I certainly don't like that that whore thinks she can try it with me."

"I don't like it either."

"Could have fooled me." I bit at him, some of my insecurity leaking out.

"Stop that right now." He ordered.

"Don't tell me how to feel! You're not my father!"

"No, I'm your fucking mate so listen to me!"

"No." We were in each other's faces now and I wasn't entirely sure when it happened. "This is not okay. This is so far past okay it's not even remotely amusing. I am going to tear that bitch and this whole place to pieces and watch it fucking burn. You're welcome to join me, or you can stand on the side-lines and tell me to stop, however futile it may be. But do not, I repeat do not, try to protect her or I will keep you out of my fucking way. You got that, Major?" I growled the last word low in my throat. There was a pause as Jasper looked down at me, though it felt for all the world that he was looking up.

"Yes Colonel." He bit out.

"Good." I smiled coldly. "Peter! Where's that match?"

After a long talk with Peter after I'd barged into his and Char's bedroom looking for the match I had requested, I finally calmed down a little. I wasn't going to light her ass on fire – yet. I could feel Jasper fuming from our room but I paid him little mind at that moment, I was still pissed at him for his complete ambivalence regarding what Maria had done, whilst he just kept muttering something about Newborns and how unstable they were. Soon I'd had enough of his bitching and marched through to our room, coming to a halt directly in front of where he was sat on the edge of the bed.

"Got a problem Whitlock?"

"Yeah. Not that it's any of your business Swan." He growled at me without looking up.

"Well would you quit your mumbling? It's giving me a headache. And if you have something to say about me, say it to my face in future." I started to leave but h caught my arm as I moved, turning me back to face him now he was standing.

"I've got something to say to you. You're behaving like a fucking spoilt brat, stamping your feet because something didn't go your way, and that I'm not reacting the way you want me to. Well boo fucking hoo Bella. This is life. It's not always fair, and it's not always going to go your way, so will you stop acting like Alice when her credit card is cancelled and fucking suck it up?" I yanked my arm from his grasp and stood staring at him, his eyes were almost black and he was radiating a pure anger, the likes of which I'd never felt before. In all honesty I was a little scared, but not enough to back down. I was just about to speak when Peter entered the room and spoke.

"What the hell is going on with you two? Since you got together you've been nothing but sickeningly content, two days here and you're at each other's throats."

"Get out Peter." Was Jaspers succinct reply.

"No. I won't. You two need to pull your shit together, because this plan is not going to work unless you do. So why don't you both calm down, fuck and make up?"

"I said get out Peter." Jasper repeated. "What goes on between me and my mate is no concern of yours."

"And I said no, brother. I'm not going anywhere until you explain what's got you and the Colonel going at each other like immortal enemies."

"She's acting like a pathetic whining newborn, that's what."

"Newsflash Major, she is a newborn. Remember?"

"Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here please?"

"Shut up." Both of them snapped, and for once I listened to them, closing my mouth and settling on listening to them for a while.

"I know she's a newborn Peter, but that's no excuse for her to throw a hissy fit because something happened that she didn't like."

"I disagree, I think you're expecting too much of her self-control. Since she changed she's had a lot to deal with, remembering her past, worrying that she's lost something vital to her sense of self, coming here, facing you sadistic bitch of an ex, planning an action she doesn't agree with and killing not one but two humans in as many days, one of which apparently against her will. That's a hell of a lot to expect any newborn to deal with, even one who shows as much control as Bella does. So her reaction I understand, it's you that's got me confused Jasper. Not even when we were in Maria's army did you act like this, sure you were a bastard but you never hurt those you cared about. And you apparently love this woman. So what the fuck is going on with you?" Peter folded his arms across his chest waiting for a response. He didn't get one straight away. Jasper sat back on the bed holding his head in his hands.

After a few moments he spoke, and his voice sounded almost hollow, though there was an edge of pain. "I don't know Peter. I just don't know. It's like I'm not even saying these things, like someone else has taken control of my body and is spewing forth all of this bullshit. I'm there but I can't stop it. It's taking so much effort right now not to yell at you in anger and throw you out of that window. They're not my emotions, but I can't filter them out." I could see him shaking and all of my anger melted away, I knelt in front of him, resting my hands on his knees as I ducked my head to look into his eyes. Once our eyes met I felt our connection the one that went right down to the core of my being, and realised we hadn't actually looked at each other all day. Through all the anger we'd avoided eye contact. But now I saw Jaspers shoulders relax as he took a deep breath, the anger he'd been projecting vanished and I felt my mental shield snap back into place, I'd never even noticed its existence before, but now I knew it had been missing, something had made me lift it. I was grateful it was back.

"Hey Darlin'." Jay smiled weakly down at me, I smiled weakly in return.

"Hey baby."

"You two are seriously fucked in the head." Peter chimed in.

"No, Peter, this is the same thing that got to us last night." I paused and shifted so I was sat on the floor between Jaspers legs, holding hands over my shoulders, his thumbs massaging my palms in circles, while I looked up at Peter. "You know how Edward couldn't hear my thoughts, still can't hear my thoughts?" Peter nodded. "I think he would've been able to get inside my head over the past eighteen hours. I didn't notice before but something was missing, like I felt vulnerable. My shield, or mental block, whatever it was that kept Edward out was gone. It's back now. It felt like a rubber band snapping into place. That's how they got to me, one moment of weakness would've been all they needed to get in my head. And they got to Jay too. I don't know how they did it but I'm sure as shit going to find out. And if the Skank Whore is behind it, I stand by what I said before. I'm going to raze this place to the fucking ground. But not before I extract a confession. You think The Major was bad when he tortured people, you ain't seen nothing yet."


	18. Destruction and Creation

**AN: As always, I know I suck, but here's another chapter for you fine folks. Hope you enjoy this. **

**Disclaimer: It's SM's world, I just play in it.**

Before we headed downstairs to meet with the Whore, I checked to make sure my shield was around all four of us, as well as trying to keep a check on my emotions which was easier said than done since I was fucking furious with the bitch, who not only was after my mate, but also had interrupted my time with my family, manipulated my desires with no regards to my feelings and just generally just pissed me off.

"Calm down there Darlin'."

"Believe me Jay, I'm trying."

"Want a hand?"

"Please." I sighed as I felt a wave of calm envelope me, pushing the rage down so it was just a flickering flame at the heart of me. I felt my muscles relax and my breathing ease as I embraced the serenity. "Thank you Cowboy."

"Any time Sugar." He smiled, helping me shrug on one of his plaid shirts over my white tee and tying it around my waist, leaving the buttons open. Apparently anger equals shredded clothes for this newborn. He pecked my lips and took my hand, leading me out to join Pete and Char in the hallway. Without a word we headed down the stairs.

The house was silent as we walked through it and out the back into the main part of the compound Maria had sequestered herself away in. Once we were outside I appreciated just how soundproofed the main house was. The din was horrendous, the constant crashing sound of thunder, the growls echoing through the air, and the screams of agony the change brought about.

I shrank into Jay's side a little as we walked through the mayhem of Newborns. They were everywhere, fighting, fucking, feeding and changing. There was no order to this 'army' Maria had created. Most spared a glance for us as we passed through their midst, many cowering away from the scars Peter, Charlotte and Jasper bore, the sun glinting off their skin was dulled in the matted web of scars criss crossing over their flesh. I think I even heard a few whimpers from a couple of the 'recruits'.

We reached Maria, who was talking to a rather large vampire, he was about the same size as Emmett, but had shaggy black hair and vacant red eyes. He was obviously just muscle. Before the Whore turned to look at us, I shifted myself so I was standing straight beside my mate. I would not cower in front of her.

"Ah, Major." She simpered as she turned to face us. "So glad you could join us this morning." Jasper remained silent, his eyes fixed on the Whore, but they were flat, devoid of any emotion, a fact she seemed to notice as her smile faltered for a moment. "I think it's time for us to begin." She said, her tone almost brusque, but her fear made her voice tremble a little. "But before we do I'd like you to meet José and Enrique." She gestured to Muscle man – José - and another vampire I hadn't noticed. He was small, about the same height as Alice, and thin, though the slight muscles he had were toned making him look wiry, his eyes were a deep red and his dirty blonde hair was scraggly but silky, if this was how he looked as a vampire I shuddered to think how he looked as a human since the venom enhanced our looks to produce a beautiful predator, designed to entrance and ensnare our prey.

"José is in charge of keeping my _children_ in line. Enrique is one of my more talented offspring." She smiled with pride as she glanced at the scrawny boy, though he cowered slightly from her gaze, shrinking into himself, his shoulders hunching and his head hanging, making him even smaller than he was before. I felt a pang of pity for him. "José, would you show the Major and his friends to the training ground and round up the recruits." It wasn't a question and Muscles nodded before signalling for us to follow him as he strode back through the mess of Newborns and towards an empty open space to one side of the compound.

Once he left us to round up the others Jay turned to look at me, an unreadable expression on his face, but I could see the question burning in his eyes.

"I'm fine Jay."

"Are you sure Darlin'?" I nodded, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

"I'm sure, now get your Major on and show these Newborns how it's done." I smiled taking a step behind him beside Peter, who was now flanked by myself and Char as the Newborns approached, led by Muscles. They were quieter now, and walked behind their 'leader' like rats following the Pied Piper.

They spread out in a semi-circle across from us, leaving a space large enough for a sparring match. I counted thirty of various sizes and shapes. Some fidgeted as they stood, staring at the imposing figure Jasper had become, his back was straight, his hat firmly settled on his head, and he seemed to ooze a 'don't-fuck-with-me-vibe', honestly, if I didn't know him like I did, I'd be scared of this vampire.

He strode out to the middle of the space and surveyed the Newborns, still silent until he beckoned José to him. There was a moment's hesitation before José complied with the order, for with the Major it was never a request. Once the pair were facing each other Jasper said something, too low for us to hear, and presumably for the Newborns as well. They took five steps apart each and settled into a fighting stance, Jay's was hard to see unless you watched him closely, which I was definitely guilty of doing, his knees bent minutely, his shoulders shifted forward a fraction and his fingers flexed. José dropped into a crouch, one hand resting on the floor in front of him, the other stretched out behind him. His shoulders were hunched and his eyes fixed on Jasper.

I saw the moment José went to attack, his muscles bunched and his stance shifted as he launched himself through the air. It took a lot of self-control not to launch myself at José and knock him of track to stop him colliding with Jasper, but I managed it, with a little help from Pete and his tight grip on my hand.

Jasper moved at the last second as he reached out and grabbed a handful of José's hair and jerked him backward, his other hand reaching to rip the jaw off of Muscles and toss it aside. The fight continued, José gradually losing more and more body parts, one for every attack he launched at Jay.

Finally, when José was out of removable parts except for an arm and his head, Jasper called an end to the match. All of Muscles body parts had landed in a pile behind Jay and he casually walked over to it, producing a Zippo lighter from his pocket, one I knew well since I'd bought it for him on our first anniversary, it bore a picture of a swan wearing a Stetson, I'd had it designed specially, with a deft flick Jay had lit the ear in his other hand and tossed it back on the pile which caught fire instantly, blazing brightly. The smell reached my nose, its sickly sweet stench assaulting my senses and making me feel like vomiting, though I managed to quash that urge. What I couldn't ignore were the pain filled screams of Muscles as he writhed on the ground, his one remaining arm was clutching his head as he screamed, tearing at his hair and flesh.

I locked all of my muscles into place to prevent myself running over to Jasper and begging him to stop José's pain, and my own, for it was a truly painful sight to watch. It tore at my heart and made my stomach clench, and not in a good way. I managed to peel my eyes away from the scene, burying my face in Peters shoulder, he held me tightly against him with one arm, his fingers twining in my hair, locked my head in place, preventing me from turning back around, as if I even wanted too. My hands clutched at his shirt, one on his chest, the other at his back.

The rustic smell of Pete, pine and car oil mixed with a summers breeze, went a little way to clearing my nose of the sickeningly sweet odour of burning venom and stony flesh. I felt more than heard the moment when José's screams stopped, but I still couldn't turn myself away from my brother. Needing his comfort and strength.

"Split off into pairs and practice your sparring." Jasper called out. "Any of you set one toe out of line and you'll follow in that idiots footsteps." His voice was detached, the words were cold and callous, he wasn't my Jasper and yet I still loved the man my minds eyes envisaged, radiating power and strength, projecting a mask of coldness and calculation. The look in his eyes telling those before him that they were nothing to him, nothing but cannon fodder in a game bigger than any of them had ever imagined. My heart ached for him.

A few seconds later I felt myself being pried from Peters grip, though his was resisting only a fraction less than I was. I was jostled slightly and was then being held in Peters arms as we moved across the compound, the fresh sounds of stone bodies colliding echoed behind us. We stopped somewhere, away from the sights and smells, away from the sounds. Somewhere quiet and alone and that was when I felt myself crumble. I sobbed into Peters shoulder, my whole body shaking, though my eyes stayed dry. I gasped for unneeded breaths, but couldn't find the catharsis that crying had given me before my change, there was no way to let this pain out. As my sobs subsided Pete's grip on me lessened until he was peeling me off of him and setting me on the ground opposite him.

We said nothing as the minutes stretched between us, until I sighed. Pete took that as an invitation and started to speak. "You alright Belly Bob?" I nodded. "I might not be an empathy but I know when you're lyin' Little One, so come on, tell Uncle Peter what's wrong."

"I'm fine Pete. I'm just a little overwhelmed is all."

"An' what has you all overwhelmed?"

"Just seeing that, the destruction, and the ease with which it was carried out. I knew it would be like this, but I wasn't prepared for what it would actually look like. Or how I'd feel seeing Jay like that."

"Has it changed anything?"

"No. I still love him, and I still want to finish this. But I want to finish it all. Maria will not walk away from this. She's forced to become something he never wanted to be again, and that I won't forgive. The bitch is going to fry."

"I thought she already was."

"Yeah, but now it's no holds barred. I am going to ruin her and make her watch while I destroy everything she's ever held dear, and then I'm going to burn her and dance around her pyre."

"Vengeance looks good on you Little One, though it might not make you feel any better."

"Killin' the bitch that made my mate feel like a monster will make me feel better."

"But will it help Jay?"

"What are you saying Pete, do you think she deserves to live? Do you think I can walk away from this? Are you saying you won't help?"

"No. No. And Hell no. But Belly Bob, I just want to make sure that you'll be alright at the end of this. I don't want to see that Skank ruin the life of someone else in my family."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about me Petey, I'll be just fine. I'm the Colonel after all." I smirked, feeling my confidence return and the need to fight for my family, and for my mate. I was the Colonel and nothing was going to get in my way.

I felt the old Bella fall away, her hang ups and insecurities melt away as I adjusted my posture, my back straightening. I knew I was worthy to stand beside the Major, to lead our family of four into battle and I knew we'd all make it out unscathed.

I was born for this. I was born to live this life and walk beside Jasper. I was born to be his, as he was born to be mine. Though nothing in my life had been more important than seeing him in that moment. Without another word I sprung to my feet and darted back to the training area, immersing myself in the sights, smells and sounds of the sparring surrounding me. I took my spot beside Char who was watching the fights in front of her. My eyes found Jasper, who was walking amongst the Newborns, correcting their movements and honing them.

The moment his eyes found mine he smirked at me, I arched an eyebrow, but a similar smirk was on my face. When I'd confronted Maria before I had been the Colonel in an academic manner, I had known it but had never really felt it, not in the core of me. Now it hummed through every cell of my being, and the air seemed to crackle with my newfound control and power.

A body flew out of the fray heading straight towards me, I saw Jay tense a little though he never paused in his work, but I sidestepped the vampiric missile and tore the head off of the body, tossing it aside and lighting the venomous body before it joined the head on the floor.

They were all disposable, replaceable, worthless.

I was the Colonel and nothing could beat or break me.


End file.
